I have been engaged for 4 years without getting married. I want to return the ring and move on with my life.

My fiance proposed to me on July, 9th 2016 and till today, he has not come to see my parents not to talk of introduction or wedding. He proposed to me after dating for 2 years and some months. We used to have a good relationship before he proposed to me but lately, things are different. 

I don’t know if I should say he proposed to me out of pressure. This is because his younger brother was about to get married so maybe he didn’t want to look like he doesn’t have a normal life. I accepted to marry him because we have been together for two years and he treated me well. He also professed his love for me regularly so I thought it was genuine and we were meant to be.

However, things are not as I thought. I have been wearing this engagement ring he gave me since four year and it is beginning to chase suitors away from me. Some men have been coming to seek my hand in marriage but I always tell them that I am engaged to someone. They always give up when I tell them this. 

Now, it breaks my heart that the guy I have been by his side for more than 2 years as a girlfriend and 4 years as a fiance doesn’t want to take a bold step and change my status to that of a wife. People in my office now mock me and say certain bad things about me. I once had a misunderstanding with a female colleague and she called me lord of the rings. She reminded me of how long I have been wearing a ring and how I do not have any hope of taking it off anytime soon because my man is a coward.

I won’t lie, this broke me. I always try to talk to my man about going to see my people and wedding marriage but he always comes up with an excuse. Today he’ll say he is not financially balanced, tomorrow he’d say he is not ready for marriage, another day he will say he is busy chasing his dreams. 

This is becoming unbearable. It is not as if he doesn’t have enough to marry me, He has a good paying job and other small businesses people are managing for him. He buys me expensive shoes and clothes so why is he not going to marry me?

My family and some friends think I am under a spell because they don’t understand how I’ll be wearing his engagement ring for 4 years. Honestly, I have thought about this over and over again and I don’t know if I am well at all. I thought I stayed with him all these years because he is a nice man but I don’t think that’s enough reason. 

We do everything couples do except having children. I live with him as well. Last week, I couldn’t sleep because I don’t know if he’ll ever marry me. I feel like I’ve wasted my time waiting for him so that night I decided to give him back his ring, rent my own place, move out and move on with my life. 

I am just scared that I may not find a man to marry me because I’m getting old. I am currently 34 and I don’t know how I’d be able to stay without him. What if I don’t get a man to love me like he loves me. I am very confused as I write. Should I return his ring or keep waiting for him? Talk to me please. 


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