Hello. I finally summoned courage to speak about this. I have been married for 3 years without a child. Within the first year of my marriage, my husband was nice and hopeful. While I was concerned about my inability to get pregnant, he always encouraged and made me see reasons why I shouldn’t give up. He always told me it was our first year in marriage and so we still had a lot of time to have all the kids we wish to have.
I was concerned, not because one year was such a long time not to get pregnant but because of the fact that his mother didn’t like me. She always complained about things I did and made derogatory remarks about me. She never said it to my face that she doesn’t want me to marry her son but I got to know through my husband’s mobile phone. His sister once sent him a message telling him about their mom’s take. His sister however told him to go ahead and marry me if he loves me since he will be the one to live with me and not their mom.
In our second year of marriage without a child, my husband and I went to many hospitals and clinics and they all said we were alright. I also went to many prayer houses and I was told that my husband and I will have our own children at the right time. Each time my mother in-law came to the house, she would make it very uncomfortable for me and tell my husband that I am barren. She always tried to convince my husband to marry another wife and send me away but he always walked out on her. I prayed, cried, and fasted. I did everything within my power but nothing positive was happening.
Just last week, I got the shock of my life. I was at home making lunch when my husband walked in with a lady that is almost my age or a bit younger than me. I was surprised because she was with her luggages and my husband was treating her nicely and calling her sweet names. He told her to feel at home and made his way into our room. I greeted him and tried to hug him but he shifted. The other lady ignored me and brushed past me as she walked behind my husband.
They went into our matrimonial room and my husband brought out my things and left them outside the room. He told the girl to put her things in the wardrobe. I tried calling his attention but he slapped me. He later came outside and introduced the lady to me as his new wife and told me to put my things in the guest room or feel free to go back to my parents’ house.
I have never felt this embarrassed and broken all my life. This is just a marriage of three years. People do stay for up to 7 or 10 years before having a child. Why is my own different? I lived a very decent life as a single lady and stayed away from controversies. I was a dedicated Christian and prayed regularly. Why has God chosen to watch me get embarrassed like this?
I called my sister in-law and she promised to speak to her brother. She called me back to say her mom was solidly behind him and he has refused to listen to her. I am like a stranger in my home. They leave the house everyday and still expect me to cook and clean which I do. I cry and plead with my husband to forgive me and give me a chance. I am at a loss for what to do. How long will I continue to live like a stranger here? My family stays very far from me. What should I do? I am losing myself.