I got married about several years ago to my best friend because I got pregnant…
We were really very good friends, in fact he is my best friends and I shared almost everything with him, I told him pretty much everything. While courting I was unwell and clinically determined to have ovarian cysts and I made to realise that I might find it hard to become pregnant.
Silly me confided in him that I’m scarred that I may be unable to get pregnant and that we should try. And after that I got pregnant and I was like okay fine what is the big deal we are both employed and and also in love, let’s get married and have the baby however he told me to abort the baby.
I told him no but if he doesn’t like to get married to me fine. A lot of bullshit afterwards, we got married and it has been nightmare ever since.
I have endured every bullshit imaginable beatings, neglect, insults and all of that. But I haven’t been blameless too I have been abusive too.
If you ask me I will say he provoked me but if you ask him he will say I provoked him.
He said I do not have respect for him and i tell him he cannot compel me to respect him, he needs to earn it.
For instance, he doesn’t do any housechore , no not even one even though I do not really care much because I have somebody that helps me out but I have asked him to care for his clothes which he doesn’t, scatters his clothes like a toddler and simply wants to sit and press his phone all day then hang out.
Both of us work and he makes much more money right now, however i provide 80 percent for the upkeep for our home, 99 percent of the furniture and appliances in our home was paid for by me. He consistently accuse me of being unfaithful when I really do not go anywhere at all, I go to work, my shop and straight back home. He keeps late night and comes back to call me a hooker and I’m like I sit at home but you go out but somehow I’m the prostitute.
When I’m upset I insult him a lot after which he hits me, I insult him simply because I’m frustrated.
I go out there hustle really hard but I’m been ridiculed..
I told him let’s have one more child to make it two but he said no that he is not sure , he is never sure about anything, very slow a guy. I still wish to have one more child with him simply because I want all my children to come from one Dad but he says his not ready. When will you be ready, he doesn’t know…
My family and friends thinks i must be crazy to still be with him but I don’t want my son to grow from a broken home, I don’t want my children to have different fathers, I genuinely still do love him and even though it may be foolish of me, I somehow believe that he will change.
I’ve prayed, cried, fasted but there is virtually no difference. People tell me I this is how cross river men are but for how long will I continue, he is seven years older than me but still behaves like a child with no future plan. I am really confused and sincerely tired.
I need your advice please.what would you advice me to do?