My sister wasn’t around much when I was growing up because she was in college then medical school. She’d visit on holidays and the weekends if she wasn’t busy. Whenever she’d visit she would spend a lot of time with me and she’d take me places, buy me things and give me advice when I needed it. I always felt like I could tell her anything and she wouldn’t judge me for it. She never really got along with our parents and I never knew what it was about but they would argue often and there was always a lot of tension around them. My parents were very loving and we get along so no issues there.
When she started dating her now husband she spent less time with me and she would come over less often. 5 years ago she got married to the guy. I don’t like him at all. He’s like an overgrown frat guy and he’s always teasing me or saying dumb shit, he can never read the room. I’ve spoken to my sister about it but she says that it’s just his way of bonding with people and that he means well and is a nice guy. He’s been a pain in the ass for 5 years and just when I was going to give him a chance he fucked it up.
My sister and her husband came over for dinner two nights ago and were going to sleep over because they live 2 hours away. He took that as an opportunity to drink as much as he wanted. He’s already insufferable when sober so drunk him is even worse. My sister and I were catching up because it’s been a while and I was telling her how I would like to go into the medical field like her. Jackass husband then comes in saying that it’s great that I want to follow in my mom’s footsteps.
My mom has never worked in the medical field so I was confused and thought he was just being dumb but my sister’s face went so pale and my parents were very quiet. I just looked at my sister and could tell that it wasn’t just a dumb comment. I locked myself in my room and didn’t come out until the next day. There was a lot of yelling and I just learned something huge so I didn’ want to deal with it.
When I finally decided to leave the room I saw that my sister was sitting right outside the door and that jerk was gone. I asked her wtf was going on and told her not to lie to me or I’ll never speak to her again. She told me that she got pregnant in her senior year of high school and the guy cut all contact with her. She wanted to keep me and our parents were fully supportive of her. She found out that she got into her dream school but she would have to either give up the school or give me up.
She couldn’t choose so she decided to keep both. She spoke to our parents about it and the plan was to have them take care of me while she’s in school and when can she will take me back. I was supposed to grow up knowing that she is my mom but because she was so busy and stressed out she didn’t think that she could handle motherhood.
Our parents noticed that she was pulling away so they adopted me and raised me as theirs. She said that she was young and dumb at the time so she agreed with the adoption. She said that she thought of dropping out and taking me back so many times but thought I was better off without her as a mom.
As the years went by she saw less reason to tell me since I was doing good and was being well taken care of. She started crying and telling me that she regrets her decision and wants to be my mom even though I’m almost an adult she wants us to start over as mother and son.
I told her I’d think about it and then she left. I went to speak to my parents. They told me that they did everything for me because they love me and I’m not obligated to leave now that I know. They said that things don’t have to change if I don’t want them to. It seemed more like they didn’t want things to change.
I feel like my whole life is a lie. I know that I was well taken care of and I don’t want to seem ungrateful but I was lied to my whole life. I don’t see myself calling my sister “mom” and living life as if everything is ok. My parents are the ones who raised me so how could I just leave them like that. On the other hand if I don’t decide to go with my sister she might feel like I’m rejecting her or that I hate her and after 17 years she might really give up on me. I’m so torn and feel betrayed.
I can’t believe that I found out from that asshole. That makes me even more mad. I feel like I have to pick a side I don’t know how to do that. I kinda just wanna run away and forget about all of this. Everyone is kinda leaving it up to me and I don’t even know what I want for breakfast on a good day.
How do I approach this without everyone getting hurt? Naijaparents please help me.