I think my husband is gay.

Please keep me anonymous. I am a young lady in my mid twenties. I just graduated from school two years ago and I have been doing one or two things to keep body and soul together. Before I got married, I was into baking and sewing. I learned how to bake from my mom who owns a confectionery school. Later on, during one of the ASUU strikes I had to learn how to sew. These two things have been fetching me good money even before I got married. After school, I had different suitors but none actually had the major attributes I needed in a life partner. It’s either their finances were suffering or they were so keen on being the man that they would easily stifle whatever creativity I had in me. I was very watchful as I didn’t want to make any mistakes in my choice of a life partner but careful could one be? During our service, I met someone at the camp. He was a really nice guy and respected women. 

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He was very good to me and it was very easy for us to connect and become close friends. He was quite younger than me, about a year younger so we really didn’t look at starting a relationship of something similar. We were merely friends that cared for each other and we both made our stay in the camp a memorable one. Later on, he told me that he had a cousin whom he would like to share my contact with. I obliged and his cousin later called. To shorten the story, his cousin and I got along really well. He was also a nice person and respected my views. He always wanted to hear my opinion on things before he made any decision even before we made plans of getting married. I liked him and I felt appreciated and wanted. We later got married and that was when I began to observe certain undesirable traits that he had. Yes, we all have our flaws and all but when those flaws hugely affect our future and our relationship with our partner, it raises concerns. 

I have a feeling that my husband is gay. I have not confirmed my claims yet but the signs make me believe that I am right. My husband avoids me when it comes to having sex. I will even be the one to make advances but he will always come up with one excuse or the other. Today, if it is not rhT he had a stressful day at work, it would be that he is not just in the mood or that I need to reduce much I desire sex. There are times when he would even want to school me on the harmful effects of frequent sex on our health. Since we got married, I am not sure that we have had 12 or 13 good rounds of sex. He is always avoiding me and coming up with excuses that get me worked. I have complained so many times that I am already tired. I have complained to his mom and sister but nothing has changed. 

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He is still a good man, I believe he still loves me and his actions say so. He still gives me money and buys me things as he has always done. He introduces me to his new friends and colleagues so I don’t feel neglected. He still involves me in his decision making, he seeks my opinion before he does something and he takes care of our family. I appreciate these but he still leaves me suspecting him and some things he does. He has a lot of male pictures on his phone and they leave me very worried. I rarely see any woman’s picture on his phone. He is always acting some kind of way and it raises my suspicions. I don’t like the way things are going on between us. We don’t have any children yet. We have been trying to conceive but he is not even helping matters. If he doesn’t want to have sex with me, how can I conceive? What do you think I should do?  

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