I want to divorce my husband. I’m tired of managing.

Please hide my identity. I have tried all that is within my powers to be a good wife to this man and also to see that this marriage works but it is obvious that my efforts are not bearing any fruits. We have been married for almost nine years now but we are yet to have our own children. This has been a major problem in this marriage and regardless of all I do, my husband claims he knows best and continues to believe that God will make a way for us. We have visited so many hospitals and prayer houses but nothing positive comes out of these visits. I suggested to my husband one time that we do IVF but he blatantly refused. It is not as if he doesn’t have money, he is rich, his business was thriving then and I could see it. Instead, He said it was artificial and he wasn’t ready to doubt God by going through that means. I have done my best but since he continued to insist on trying naturally, I have given up. It is not as if our relationship is that great. Day by day it is as if our love is reducing. Our communication continues to drop and I am tired of being in a relationship with a man who doesn’t appreciate me or listen to me. 

Read also: My boyfriend has a lot of family responsibility and I am scared about what will happen when we marry. 

I used to have a good paying job. I was a top banker but when I married and we couldn’t conceive in the first few years, my husband said it may be because I was stressing myself so he suggested that I quit the job. I refused. That career took me many years of hard work, dedication, sacrifices and sweat to build and I wasn’t ready to give it up for anything. He did all he could but I stood my ground. Part of the reason why I refused to quit was because before marriage, we had a series of conversations about many things of which our career was a major part of. We agreed that none of us was going to give up our dreams, job or business just to please the other person except when it is absolutely necessary for the best interest of both parties. That was our agreement and I remembered vividly. Also, I am always very conscious about my health. I exercise regularly and I also feed well. I watch what I eat and I go for medical check up frequently. All these made me know that my job was not in any way interfering with our inability to conceive and I tried to explain these to him but he refused. 

After some time, he started speaking to people including our families, friends and even people I didn’t know. It got so bad that my parents didn’t allow me to rest and he was doing this in such a way that made it look like I was the one who is the cause of our childlessness so everyone blamed me. It got too much and I had to finally quit my job. He was wealthy and was making enough to run the family without much stress. He also agreed to pay me salary every month apart from the expenses for the house and he did. I stayed at home for two more years with no result. I am still at home and nothing has changed. My life is wasting. I am not achieving anything. My career is now a story yet I do not have kids. The relationship with my husband is not even progressing. It is as if we are just managing each other in this marriage. Nothing exciting is happening. 

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I am tired of this marriage. I no longer love my husband as I used to and even though I have tried to adjust and love him back  nothing happens. I no longer feel anything for him and there is no need pretending. We don’t have children, nothing is bringing joy to the home or even serving as a means to draw us closer to each other. Our marriage is sour and I feel like I have wasted 9 years of my life with nothing to show for it. I want to quit this marriage because I don’t love him anymore, we don’t have a child so nothing is keeping me in this loveless marriage. I also want to know what I can achieve with my life. I want to build a new career and be happy. I am tired of managing life, I want to take charge of my life and be happy. Is this a good thought? Should I go ahead and divorce him? Kindly give me a response.  

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