I want to find a partner before I leave Nigeria in December but I have been unlucky. What do I do?

Cynthia Eze

2 years ago / 1430 Views

I am in my late twenties and I recently got an opportunity to go abroad to work. I am a nurse and I got a job in the US. My relationship life has witnessed many setbacks. I have been in many relationships but they all didn’t work out even when I put in my very best. I broke up with the last girl I dated because I found out that she was cheating on me. I was really hurt but I couldn’t do anything. I just tried to move on but it has not been easy for me at all. I am planning to leave Nigeria in December but I want to have a stable relationship before I leave. I have been keeping in touch with a male friend of mine that stays in US. He has been telling me how difficult it is to find a partner over there, especially finding a Nigerian. He is currently thirty eight years old and yet, he doesn’t have a stable relationship not to talk of marriage. He has the money, he is rich, comfortable, good-looking and very kind but all these have made almost no difference in his life.

He has been seriously encouraging me to ensure I find someone I love and get serious with her before I relocate. I have searched and searched but I have been quite unfortunate. I don’t know what to do about it. I have even asked my family, especially my mom and my sisters, to help me find someone. Right from time, I have always loved to do things by myself so I initially told them that I would find someone by myself but since that isn’t working, I have given up and had no other option than to ask my family to help. One of the girls my mom recommended was too proud but my mom doesn’t agree with me. She was always feeling on top of the world. When we go out to eat or do anything, she will always wait for me to open the door for her before she comes down from my car. She does this frequently and I once spoke to her about it and she said that was the proper thing to do.

When we were dating, I would send her money but she wouldn’t acknowledge or appreciate me. There are many times when I have to call her and ask if she received the money I sent to her, it is only then that she would remember to say thank you. She has done so many other nasty things and I left because of her. There was another lady that my neighbor recommended. She was quite beautiful, very beautiful with good shape, voice and other physical things but her problem was that she was involved with a lot of men. When we are together, her phone always rings but she refuses to answer. She will always put her phone on silent. She prefers to chat because that’s how she will be able to talk freely. I have told her many times to feel free and communicate with other people but she doesn’t change. I try as much as possible to avoid going through my partner’s belongings or messages. I later found out that she was cheating on me.

I am honestly tired of doing trial and error especially when it has to do with choosing a life partner. I want to be able to find someone before I leave. At least I can pay her bride price before leaving. I don’t know what I am going to do about this. It is really more exhausting and heartbreaking than I can explain. Please talk to me. What is the best thing for me to do? I really need to find someone before the deadline. I am young and I look very good so I wonder what the problem is. My personality is great as well. What should I do?