I am in my late twenties and I am actually confused in making a choice of my life partner. I have a boyfriend whom I’ve been dating for almost four years now. I won’t lie, things have been going smoothly between us and he has been a very helpful asset in my life. I met him when I was in my final year through a close friend of mine who happened to be really close to him. Things got smooth between us and we started dating some months after. While we were dating, things were not going so well and he had a lot of family responsibilities drawing him back and weighing him down. He was the second of seven children of which the first was a lady. Their parents were just petty traders who hardly made enough to feed it and keep the family up and running. He had younger siblings and thus, was indirectly charged with the responsibility of caring for them and training them. The sad part of it all was that he didn’t have a good paying job. He was just working at a secondary school and was not paid enough to care for all he wanted. The secondary school was where he served after his NYSC and he was retained. I, on the other hand, was working so I didn’t look at him. He gave me when he could, I loved him genuinely so the money didn’t matter to me.
Things got really bad for him and he decided to leave the country to hustle. We explored a lot of options, I was against him leaving but his mind was made up. We later found a reliable agent and raised some money and he left. When he did, we still kept in touch. However, it’s been almost two years since he has been away but I am not even seeing any sign of him coming back soon. We still talk but not as before. Besides from the look of things it does not seem as if he is making any progress as he expected. He seems to still be struggling and since he left, it is not as if he sends me good money. He sends money to me but only once in a while. I have asked what he does but he keeps beating around the bush. Today he’ll say he is working in a production company, tomorrow he’ll say he is working in a mall. I am not trying to put pressure on him or something but I just want to know my stand. We have a romantic relationship and as it is now, I can’t say for sure what he does over there.
Quite alright, he does not look hungry or unhealthy, he looks better than when he was in Nigeria. He has gained a lot of weight and looks very young and healthy but there’s more to life than that. I need to know what he does and if we really have a future together. He didn’t propose to me before going, nor did he meet my parents or promise he was coming back to marry me but I have been waiting for him since then. I care about him much more than the money and every other thing that may seem to be the factor of interest but time is not on my side. I have turned down quite a number of people but as it stands, I don’t think I can continue. There is this other guy that has been asking me out for about a year now. Regardless of the fact that I have been turning him down, he still has refused to back down. I have been very honest with him, I told him everything about my boyfriend, why he left and why I’ll wait for him but he is still there, although as a friend.
Recently he asked me out again and I am seriously considering saying yes to him. I am not getting any younger and I don’t know how long I’ll continue to wait for someone who doesn’t give me full information about himself. This new guy is doing well and I am hopeful that things will work out between us. I don’t know if I am making the right decision. I don’t want to sound or look like a goal digger but honestly, I am considering a lot of things here. The pressure from my family is getting too much and a lot of people that are my mates and even younger than me are getting married. I do not want to make a huge mistake by waiting for my boyfriend to return. I love him but not as I used to. Things have changed between us and I am getting a lot of suitors. I am honestly very confused right now. If I decide to keep waiting, how long will I wait? What if he doesn’t return soon? What if he returns and is no longer interested in me or has someone else he loves? I have heard a lot of stories about this and that is why I am seriously bothered.