I want to leave my husband. I am fed up.

I am tired of managing. I have tried my best to be an understanding wife but nothing is working. I promised to stay by him and I have done my best, I have tried the much I can to support him in his difficult moments but it is as if his situation is not getting better at all. I got married to him in 2016 which makes this almost six years that we have been married. We were blessed with two lovely daughters and I try my best to raise them well. Since I married this man, we have been living from hand to mouth. We have been managing life and I have never complained nor made him feel terrible because of the situation. I have been a good wife but now I want to leave the marriage.

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My husband lost his job a year after we got married. It was a very trying time for us especially when we have spent so much during our wedding. We had a big wedding which cost us a lot of money. I had relocated from another state to his own so I didn’t have a job either and couldn’t support him. To crown it all, I was already pregnant so I could not look for a job. I was an understanding wife and we kept managing and hoping that things will get better. My pregnancy period was a very challenging one because I wasn’t feeding well. I was managing the little food we had and I couldn’t even enroll for antenatal early enough because I didn’t have money.

When I delivered, it was so bad that he could not pay the hospital bill. It was a very shameful thing and I felt very bad about it. It was my parents who sorted the hospital bill. My mom came for omugwo and when she saw how terrible my situation was, she insisted we go home where I can feed better. I followed her home and stayed for six months in my parents house. My husband later borrowed money and started his own business. Up till now the busy is still not doing well. He has been struggling. We have two children now and feeding is still a problem. He gets very angry sometimes and acts like anyone is the cause of his problem. Our girls are note even looking healthy.

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I am tired of managing. I look sick currently and I know I deserve better. Out children are malnourished. I tried getting a job but the pay was so small that I had to give it up. I opened a small shop in front of our compound but it is almost empty because I use my business money to feed our family. You can blame me for not being responsible but that’s how bad our marriage is. If my husband cannot provide food, I am forced to use the little money I have even though it is from my business to buy foodstuff and cook for the family. We have been managing since but I am tired. I want a better life for myself and my daughters. I come from a comfortable family but I have been enduring since, I think it’s time to go but I am feeling guilty about this decision.