Please hide my identity. I have been in a relationship for a year and about 5 months now. This guy I have been dating is everything I want in a man. He gives me genuine peace of mind and respects me so much. Ever since we started dating, I have never had a reason to doubt if I made the right decision by being with him. He cares so much about me and he proves it every day and every moment we spend together. Even though we don’t stay in the same state, he makes sure that the distance is not a barrier to our love. He calls me everyday, sometimes three times and even more just to make sure I am finding. He sends me money and gifts from time to time and most importantly, he values me and I love him.
Three months ago, he proposed to me during his birthday party and of course I said yes. I traveled to his location for the party and I was so happy I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. However, we started making marriage plans and I realized that I need to relocate. I have a good paying job here in Lagos. Perhaps it may not be so good paying but at least, it foots my bills and helps me do other things. Meanwhile, my fiancé is somehow struggling. He stays in Warri, Delta state and his job does not pay so well. He can foot his bills and do other small small things but the salary will not be enough to take care of me if I stop working.
I have a family I take care of and if I suddenly stop working, it is going to affect all of us. Two of my younger ones are in the university and I send them an allowance every month. Inasmuch as I don’t pay their school fees, the money I send to them from time to time helps them a lot. Apart from that, I am not the kind of person that is used to collecting money from men for anything I need. I am so used to working and earning a living. Buying myself the things I need and doing whatever I want so I am really finding it very difficult to quit my job and stay idle in a man’s house. I have spoken about this issue with him and he understands me well. He promised to figure it out but I know how men are, he might end up promising to take care of me and that doesn’t solve the problem.
I spoke to one of my friends about it and he thinks marriage comes first. According to him, he feels I should resign and join my husband in Delta. He said I could look for another job there or even start up a business. It always sounds easy but we all know how things are in Nigeria currently. Getting a job at all is not easy not to talk of getting a good paying job. Besides the location where my fiance stays is not that developed. It is not in town which means that even getting a job will be a bit challenging for me. And another thing is that my career path is not something that is easy to find. I am a banker and you know how banking jobs are. My bank does not have a branch close to my fiancé’s place so I can’t even ask for a transfer.
If I decide to start a business, what business will I even start? I have never done a business before and I don’t know how to start. I don’t know how to go about this. I do not know how my fiancé will see it if I ask him to quit his job so we look for another one here in Lagos. This marriage is just starting and I don’t want it to look like I am being too assertive or selfish. I really don’t want to quit my job and become jobless. It will affect me so much and I have heard stories of women who quit their job. Most of them regret it after marriage and I don’t want that to be my story. Please help me. I need advice on what to do. I love my fiancé and I am going to marry him notwithstanding my decision. I just want to be sure I am doing the right thing and I don’t want to regret any decision I will take. Please help me.