I’m alone in my marriage

Hello there. Kindly post this on the public forum. I need genuine advice! My husband is now distant and it feels like I’m alone in my marriage. We got married in church about nine years ago and we now have two kids together.

Downward spiral

We were both born-again at the time and life was good. Two years into the marriage we got into some financial trouble and it’s been a downward spiral for my husband since then. He started drinking and chewing khat and who knows what else. Along the way, he had a mistress and he didn’t think I was aware but he eventually found out.

He has put me through so much! And now, after all this, he comes home at all hours of the night. Sometimes he comes in at 6 am. I’ve gotten so tired of all this and I’ve left him to his devices. He can do as he pleases and I won’t ask him anything. Am I supposed to manage an adult man’s life?

Distant and aloof

We still live in the same house but we don’t talk to each other at all. Everyone does the duties expected of them regarding the house and kids but that’s where it ends. He doesn’t neglect the kids but I’m tired of this arrangement. Should I even consider myself married? What do you do when marriage gets to this point?

I need a man. Should I get a side piece of my own? Should I go ahead and divorce my husband? I worry that divorce would affect the kids which is why I’ve stayed all this time. What would be the best approach?