I’m pregnant and my last baby is barely 8 months.

Please help me. I don’t know what to do as I write to you. I am a young mother of two. My first child, a boy is 3 years old and my last child, a female is just 7 months and a week. My husband and I have been married for five years and my problem is that I am currently pregnant. This is a big problem for me and I seriously don’t know what to do about. My mother in-law seriously warned me to ensure that I space my kids and then this happened. I don’t know what to do. I have been very sad since I found out. As it is now, I even think I am depressed. Nothing in this world pleases me again and I find myself drawing away from people. My husband is not always at home so it is just me and my kinds including the gate keeper. My husband works in a state that is different from where I live with the kids so he only visits us from time to time. Sometimes he comes once in a month. Other times he stays as long as once in two or three months. It all depends on how tight his work is. 

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I haven’t told him about this pregnancy because I do not know how he is going to react. He is supportive though but I am scared because I know that situations like this make people to react differently. Apart from that, I honestly feel like this whole thing is my fault. Before I delivered my last child, I used to track my menstrual period using the calendar method. That way I can tell when I am ovulating and when I am not. Due to that, I can also decide when to have sex with my husband and when not to or when to use protection or have sex naturally. However, I thought that this calendar method was still effective for me, I didn’t realize that after delivering my last baby, my menstrual cycle was altered so the calendar method which I normally use was no longer as accurate as before. Sincerely, I didn’t know about this.  My husband came home after three months and considering that it was longer than usual I went ahead to have sex with my husband without condom or taking any contraceptive pills. 

I honestly didn’t think I will get pregnant. so I didn’t even make plans. My cycle used to be the same, it rarely failed me but this time, it has gotten me into a complete mess. I have been so scared, confused and bitter since I found out about this pregnancy. I didn’t know until I missed my period. I had to check using the pregnancy test strip. The first one was positive, I checked two more times with two different test strips and they all came out positive. I still went to the hospital to carry out a proper lab test and the result was still positive. As it is, I am five weeks pregnant. I don’t know what to do or who to talk to. I don’t want to consider having an abortion as a married woman. Also having this baby will seriously affect me including my baby. My husband and my family especially my mom will be disappointed. I don’t know how to face or handle this situation. 

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I honestly need help, advise or anything that will help me to get through this phase. I thought of calling my husband but he said that he is coming back next week, I don’t know if I should wait till he comes back before I tell him about this. This pregnancy is seriously affecting me. I am no longer taking proper care of my children because I am always worried. Sometimes I find my self crying. Sometimes it is as if I am no longer within myself. I worry too much and it is not going down well with me and my children. I need someone to talk to me about what to do. This situation is seriously eating me up. I can’t abort this baby. I have never done it and I am very scared. I have heard stories about people who tried to and I don’t want to experience any of that. I still want to give birth in future so I don’t want my womb to be damaged. Please talk to me. What do I do?