I would prefer to have my identity hidden before you make this post. Thank you. I am confused presently and I need every help and advice I can get. I know you may want to criticize me for what I am about to share with you but please help me. I am a married woman. My marriage is just three years old. I got married to my husband not necessarily because I loved him but because I was running out of time. He is a nice man and even though I didn’t love him so much before we got married, I have grown to love him during these few years that we have stayed together as couples. My husband is a great companion and he has never given me reason to regret getting married to him because all these while, he has been so helpful to me. We have a son together and he is a great dad to our son and he provides for both of us too. Before I got married to my husband, I was in a relationship with someone I loved so much. He was also a very nice guy and we dated for two years. While I was dating him, I was faithful and our relationship was very serious.
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I believed within myself that he would marry me because of how strong our relationship was but it seemed as if he wasn’t interested. In the second year of our relationship, I turned thirty while my ex was 32. We were both ready to settle down but he wasn’t making the big move. I thought he was going to propose to me on my birthday but he didn’t. I was quite disappointed, my birthday was in January and I thought that maybe he wanted to propose during Valentine in February but he didn’t. I was growing impatient, my parents and so many other people were asking me questions about marriage and I was getting tired of the whole thing. I even had to ask him if he had plans to marry me but he said nothing. I later went to a wedding where I met my current husband and two months later we got married. Three months ago, I met my ex boyfriend during an important visit to the bank. We exchanged contacts and since then he has called me regularly.
Whenever he called, he spoke about how he was sorry for messing things up between us and kept saying he loved me and wanted us to see and talk. I turned him down so many times but he didn’t give up. I agreed to see him later. The first day we met, he apologized for everything that happened and asked if we could be friends. I said it was fine but he should keep his distance since I was married with a child and he agreed. That day I saw him I realized I still loved him but I had to consciously make efforts to let go. We still kept in touch and about a month later, he asked to see me again. I refused but after persuasion, I went to see him and somehow, I followed him home since he said his wife was away. He just wanted to show me where he was staying and we ended up having sex. I just found out two weeks ago that I am pregnant and I feel so guilty. My husband is a very good man and I don’t want to wrong him. I have had sex with him after I found out but I still feel guilty.
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I have not told him about the pregnancy since the child is not his but I still feel guilty because he is definitely going to find out about the pregnancy and think that the child is his. Meanwhile my ex doesn’t know about the pregnancy either. I didn’t tell him and I don’t even intend to tell him. I have deleted his number too. I really don’t know what to do. I feel sad for cheating on my husband. I don’t know the way out of this mess. I can’t even think of aborting the child. I can’t do it. I am so scared. What if it goes wrong? I don’t want to lose my life. I am very confused at the moment. Please what can I do? I know that you may want to criticize me and call me names or blame me for cheating on my husband and all but honestly it was a mistake. Please tell me what to do.