When to introduce your boyfriend to your child

Bayo Ajibola
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When to introduce your boyfriend to your child:

As a single mother raising a child, you need to be careful about how often you introduce them to the new men in your life. Depending on the age of the child, they may not be able to deal with the different men every now and then. Young children are most affected since as they are warming up to your new man, he suddenly stops coming around and they are not able to understand why.

If you are wondering when is the best time to introduce your boyfriend to your child, you are not alone. Here is a bit of advice;

  1. Take your time – New relationships are exciting and feel just right. This can blur your judgment into thinking that you have met the right person. It is wise to let the excitement settle and determine the course of the relationship before introducing your child to your boyfriend. Sometimes, a fling can be confused for a solid relationship and it takes time to know a fling from a relationship.

Another factor to consider on time is how ready you are for this bold step in your life. Just because a relationship is solid, does not mean you should be pressured into making introductions. Be honest with yourself and only do it when you are absolutely ready. It does not matter how long it takes. A good boyfriend will be patient enough.

  1. Involve the father of your child – As long as you are in good terms with your child’s father, it is important to let him know about your new relationship. This way he can raise his concerns and have you address them before bringing in someone else into his child’s life. He can also help your child understand that while he remains their father, there will be a new man in their lives who deserves an opportunity.
  2. Prepare your child in advance – How ready is your child to embrace someone else into their lives? Talk to your child and find out their thoughts on having another man besides their dad in their lives. Find out their fears or objections to this and reassure them before making the introductions. This puts them at ease and more accommodating of your boyfriend.
  3. Ascertain your boyfriend’s commitment to you and your child – Not all great boyfriends make great stepdads. Some can be totally unaccommodating to your children creating a wedge between you, the kids and him. Someone that is not ready to love you and your child should not be introduced. Be absolutely sure that your boyfriend is committed to you before letting him in your child’s life.


Dating is hard more so to single mums. Some men will run off the moment you mention a child while others will not be fully accommodating to your child. When you find someone really in love with you and your relationship is taking a long-term course, introducing him to your child at the right time is crucial. You should however, keep the introductions light and comfortable for all.


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