Is Our Age Difference a Problem?

Photo by Ayo Ogunseinde on Unsplash

I dated before but it didn’t end up in marriage. I’m not in a hurry to get married anymore. I’ve now been single for four years and during that time I redirected my focus towards building my career. Don’t get me wrong. I do believe in marriage and its sanctity but the things I’ve seen in my 34 years on this planet have skewed my perception quite t a bit.

I believe I’ve adequately healed now and I’m ready to walk down the aisle. I’m ready to find someone we can share life’s problems with, celebrate with, and build a life together. I’m financially stable and even managed to make a few investments in property and stocks. You could say I’m set to have a family, financially that is.

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There’s a beautiful young lady I met about 9 months ago and our friendship is doing well. She’s 22, a practicing Christian like I am, and is active in church ministry as a choir member but we go to different churches. I preach every so often myself. She’s about to complete her Diploma and I firmly believe in education, not just as a path to financial stability but also as an eye-opener. I’d love to have a wife or daughter I can support to further their education and career.

We talk a lot and she says she’s ready to settle down immediately after she graduates and often asks what ‘we’ are in this relationship. I’d love to tell her to be my lover so we can date with an aim for marriage but I often just tell her to keep the relationship platonic for now until she completes her studies. I don’t want to raise her hopes, break her heart, and then risk losing our friendship later on.

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My question is about age. Looking at our age difference, would it be wise to date her? Should I look for someone a little older, maybe 26 years and older? Would this age difference work or it would become an impediment? I’ve seen and heard countless negative stories about married couples with a wide age gap and I wonder whether this would be worthwhile or a waste of time. I’m not looking to hurt anyone. I want a wholesome relationship that will hopefully lead to marriage. Is there anyone who has experienced such a big age difference between partners and did it impact the relationship positively or negatively? Anyone willing to give an honest account of their experience?

A mom, a lover of family, a thinker, and friend of Christ. Writing brings it all together!

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