Is this what we call a situationship?

It’s a new month and I’ve decided to share my situation with you. I don’t know whether I need advice or whether this is the right thing to do. Nobody in our family knows what’s really going on but we keep at it with no questions asked or judgmental looks and it seems to be working.

I’m technically not married but I have children with my baby daddy. We decided to keep living together because of the children and the expenses of running two homes. It just didn’t make financial sense so we chose to focus our financial energies on the children. We sleep in the same bedroom but we don’t share a bed. Everyone generally sticks to their side of the room.

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He makes sure all our expenses are catered for except those that are personal to me. He’ll still come through for me when I’m in a financial fix though. If he can’t help he just lets me know and there are no hard feelings. That works well for us because there’s no back and forth about child support and such. We however lead totally separate lives. He has a girlfriend (or several) and he disappears, presumably to her place, on most weekends. I see him often drive a car that belongs to one of the ladies so I think she really likes him. I’m seeing someone as well but I never sleep out. My baby daddy recently came home just before dawn to get ready for work yet he could just have carried a change of clothes to save himself the trouble. It didn’t make sense to me.

Difficult as it may be to believe, there’s no intimacy between us. There’s no kissing or touching and that’s our current state. We don’t mistreat each other either and all is fine. We’re just courteous humans raising children together right now and it’s fine. Honestly, we’ve made peace with the situation and we’d rather not be going at each other’s throats. This is a more peaceful arrangement and is the best course of action for us. Our children see happy individuals in us as opposed to parents that are constantly fighting and that is a plus for us.

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I don’t know how long we will keep this up and I’m not about to predict the future. Who knows what will come out of it? Maybe those couples that don’t have any enmity or ill will towards each other can try it. It could work or backfire. It could bring about a great new dynamic in the relationship. What if it brings you back together with your partner? Right now I look at him and I really don’t want to see him going out with other women and there’s a small flicker where my feelings for him used to be.

Let me not get ahead of myself. The future may surprise us more than we expected and it is best to keep an open mind and my heart out of it. How best can I do this?

Photo by Jessica Felicio on Unsplash