It’s difficult to cope without my husband in Nigeria.

Please keep me anonymous. I am a married woman and I live alone with my daughter here on Nigeria. It is becoming extremely difficult for me to cope because my husband stays in Italy. He doesn’t come home frequently so we just have to rely on phone calls and video calls for us to communicate. The last time I saw my husband was two years ago and that was two months after our wedding. When I gave birth, he wasn’t even around and he hasn’t come back since then. I know what I passed through during my pregnancy stage and how I even became depressed.

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You know how pregnancy could be demanding, in the early stages, I didn’t have anyone helping me out since I was living alone. Often I wept and regretted my decision to marry and stay in different locations. When my pregnancy progressed and coping alone became extremely difficult, I had to move in with my sister and her family. She was the one who took care of me until I gave birth. I even stayed extra one year with her after I gave birth before I finally moved to my house. Honestly, I am not happy. I know I talk to my husband daily but it is not enough.

The worse is that he keeps saying he is coming back but I never see him. After saying he is coming back, he comes up with an excuse later. If it’s not about how his company didn’t give him the break he expected, it’ll be about an important task he has. I have even lost hope. I don’t know if he is ever coming back. I thought that giving birth make him to come back, at least to see his child but it didn’t make any difference. My child is growing without a father figure and I hate it. It is the last thing I ever expected. 

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This man wasn’t here to watch me give birth, he didn’t watch our baby take her first step or talk. My baby only sees her father via video calls and pictures. I am sad. Money is not everything. He sends money but I want more. He is living his life comfortable. Pictures of him show how happy and relaxed he is. He is even gaining weight. He always posts pictures of him having fun with his colleagues meanwhile I am here sad and burdened. Raising a child alone is terrible. I hate to be in this position. It is as if I am married but single.

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