I’ve just told my wife who scares me I want a divorce

Bayo Ajibola

I told my wife that I want to end our marriage because I feel scared and unhappy. We’ve been together for 12 years and have two young boys, aged 6 and 2. When we first met, things were good, and we both had jobs in the same field and traveled a lot.

But over time, I realized that my wife has a hard time accepting things that aren’t done exactly as she would do them. She has strong ideas about how things should be done, influenced by her childhood and her close relationship with her mother and sister. Despite her mom being laid-back, my wife has become very focused on things being “normal,” which means done her way or the way her mom did them.

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This became more challenging after we had kids. She insisted on everything being done her way at home, from how the kids were dressed to what they ate. Even the small things like changing diapers or packing snacks for school had to be her way. The biggest issue was our different sleep patterns. I’m an early riser and can function well on less sleep, while she needs a full 8 hours and is in a bad mood if she doesn’t get it.

Because of this, I take care of almost everything in the morning: getting the kids ready, making breakfast, and taking them to school. I do it early because she criticizes me for the smallest mistakes when she’s awake. She finds fault in how I serve food, clean up spills, and even use the wrong dishcloth. Her criticism is harsh, and it’s hard to deal with.

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Our oldest son enjoys spending time with me in the early mornings, but my wife insists he stay in bed until a later time. This upsets him, and he cries because he wants to be up and active. Our second child is also experiencing the same. My wife is angry with me about this, accusing me of not caring for them properly.

One day, she yelled at me in front of the kids, accusing me of things that weren’t true. That was the breaking point for me. I calmly told her that I want a divorce and that I won’t tolerate being treated that way anymore. We’re away from home right now, but I’ve already spoken to a lawyer about the divorce process. Despite the challenges, I’m relieved and looking forward to having my own space and spending more time with my kids.

Bayo Ajibola

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