This is Why You Keep Having the Same Arguments With Your Spouse

Bayo Ajibola

Challenges exist in marriage and they are expected because there is no human relationship that will not encounter challenges. You will find that you have several arguments every so often and even that is okay. Expressing your feelings to your spouse is very important and can be therapeutic as well as improve the marriage.

It can be very frustrating to have to say the same thing over and over again and your partner doesn’t see it that way and so they don’t change anything even though it bothers you. Your arguments therefore tend to revolve around the same things almost all the time and can be very exhausting. It can definitely put some strain on your marriage because nobody wants to feel victimized, misunderstood and miserable.

Arguments come with lessons too and both of you should learn them. If these lessons get lost in the muddle or don’t stick you will keep this cycle running for the longest time possible. This is unnecessary and will slowly kill your marriage. Want to break this cycle?

Admit when you are wrong

There will definitely be someone on the wrong between the two of you and especially if one of you is hurt or feels let down. Knowing your spouse well comes with the territory in marriage. You know what they want, what they need and what buttons to push. You probably also know when they are genuinely offended.

Whether the mistake was intentional or otherwise, whoever is on the wrong should own up and apologize. When you don’t take responsibility for the wrongs committed it continues to hurt your partner. It shows that all you really care about is yourself and your spouse’s needs don’t matter much to you.

Admit you are wrong without trying to justify it. Take the appropriate steps to correct the mistake and be careful not to forget so that you can use this experience to gauge your actions next time.

Realize that sacrifice is inevitable in marriage

When you got married you relinquished the top position to someone else. You became one and therefore it’s no longer what you want that goes. There has to be a lot of compromise for the two of you to live in harmony.

Your spouse is your first priority but we know how selfish humans can be. You and your needs come first and you want everyone else to meet your needs first too. Putting someone else first is quite a task and many times doesn’t feel good. Unfortunately, this is the one way that marriages will actually flourish.

When one person gives wholeheartedly to another without thinking about what they get in return it looks unhealthy and leaves one feeling drained. But when two people constantly give to each other without looking at what they will receive, none of them lacks. It eliminates the need to look out for individual needs because they are already met and giving to the other person becomes much easier. That is a great cycle to uphold.

Making sacrifices for the sake of your spouse will result in a happier home and that is something everyone wants to come back to. Don’t you want to feel loved, honored, and prioritized? Don’t you like the feeling of being someone’s number one? If you answered yes to this you need to be able to do the same for your partner too. You will see and experience the benefits for yourself so don’t hold out on your spouse.

Appreciate your spouse’s positive growth no matter how small

Your spouse does something wrong and you correct them. You may have made your point but this doesn’t mean that they will change instantly. It may take several mistakes for them to finally change and you need to be patient during that time.

They eventually make strides towards change but you don’t see it. You remain caught up in the past and so blinded by it that all the positivity floating around is lost on you. Instead of jumping to conclusions or judgment, take a look around. If your spouse truly has changed congratulate them for the growth. That will encourage them to keep at it because your acceptance and admiration goes a long way.

Disagreements are inevitable in marriage but don’t remain stuck in the same issues. Learn your lessons and grow together as a couple, striving for happiness and harmony as you go along.


Bayo Ajibola

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