Letting Your Husband Raise Your Child

Bayo Ajibola

One of the things that usually cause some kind of friction in a blended family is raising the children. A single mum who gets married can easily feel her natural urge to protect her child but it may be wrongly placed with her new husband. You’ve been all alone for several years and didn’t have to answer to anyone regarding your child’s welfare. It is possible that you had to shield your child from a lot of mean people and those who felt that it was okay for them to cross the line simply because your child didn’t have a father to protect her.

Now you are married and you are finding it a bit of a struggle to let this man be a father to your child. It makes sense because you’ve been this child’s sole protector and defender all these years but it needs to change. Before you start protesting, remember that your husband knew that you had a child before he committed himself to you. He knew what he was signing up for and it included being a daddy immediately he walked into your life to stay.

Love is such a powerful thing!

You know he loves you and wouldn’t do anything to hurt you or your child. That is definitely one of the reasons you let him go this far and accepted his proposal. He has been with you through the rough patches and has probably seen you at your worst. You have given him your heart and he’s given you his to begin this beautiful journey that got you here. You need to completely believe that he loves you enough to want to help you in every aspect of your life. He only wants the best for you and that includes taking good care of your child.

Think about your child

As a parent you definitely want what is best for your child. It can however be difficult to do so when your mind is clouded with fear. Worries about whether he is going to mistreat your child or love him as much as you do shouldn’t feature at this point because these are red flags for such a relationship. Many mothers in such situations usually just have trouble relinquishing their control and mandate over the child to someone else.

He may have a different approach to parenting that you may not approve you and that is okay. If it bothers you that much and may be detrimental to the child’s development, sit your husband down and talk to him about it. Let him know what you think in a respectful manner and find a middle ground. You may think that his male perspective is way off the mark but it just might be that you aren’t seeing it right.

A child needs both male and female attention and especially if both are present. Your child needs to experience fatherly love too because it does make a difference. Little boys will have someone they identify with and little girls will feel like beautiful and confident princesses. Whether male or female, a child will always feel safe and secure with a man’s love. That isn’t to negate the safety net that is a mother’s love but to show that a father’s love is equally important and should be given a chance where possible.


Trust your man to protect both of you now. He knows you need it and if you give him a chance he’ll show just how well he can do it. Yes, there will be moments when you’d rather just ‘mother’ your child but they need a firm hand once in a while. It doesn’t show reduced love or anything. Remember, that child now belongs to both of you so allow him to be the father you’d want your child to have.

Bayo Ajibola

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