Love in Itself Won’t Hold Your Marriage

Bayo Ajibola

When you see someone walking like they were just promised a truckload of candy and they have a goofy smile coupled with stars in their eyes you don’t even need to ask what is going on with them because you know. They are in love! This feeling causes many people to assume that they are ready for the next phase of their lives and relationship. They hear wedding bells.

What many don’t realize is that marriage isn’t about love. Or rather, love won’t keep a marriage intact throughout the years. And especially the kind of love that one feels when they are just starting out in a relationship.

Every relationship goes through a rough patch at some point because they involve humans and that is part of human relations. Arguments and struggles are inevitable but how you go about them determines how far you will go. Sometimes these issues can get so aggravated but you think because you love the other person everything will be fine. That you should stay if it gets too heated and unhealthy simply because you are in love. If you find yourself thinking that the only reason you are staying is because you love them, you need to know that your love isn’t enough. And here is why.

  1. Love doesn’t conquer all

People have said so many times that love conquers all but many have misinterpreted this. Love may heal a broken heart but it can’t heal a broken leg. It may cause someone to blossom in character but won’t cause a tree to blossom. It may cause a child to thrive but won’t solve the various issues eating at the foundation of your relationship.

Love is a beautiful and powerful thing but it can’t solve difficult issues. You need to work through them.

  1. You need more to sustain a relationship and a family

Relationships are held together by much more than just love. You need friendship, mutual respect, supportiveness and many other things to keep a relationship going and without this your association is in deep trouble. These are the things that keep couples happily married.

Throw in children into the mix and you have a cocktail for disaster if all you are holding onto is love. Granted, children need to know that their parents love each other, but they also need to see you treat each other with respect, take care of each other, work as a team and communicate. They need to see a connection and genuine friendship. That will give them a sense of security and will teach them how to handle their own relationships as they grow up.

  1. You will want more

Love gives you some comfort and cushy feeling when starting out. It feels so effortless and satisfying. You don’t stop growing though and at some point you will want some spiritual and intellectual interaction. You will want to be involved with someone you can trust and respect and share life’s moments with, regardless of whether they are good or bad. You will want them to be the one person that gets you and sees you beyond your flaws and physical attributes. Wanting more is inevitable as you grow through life.

Love is an essential but small part of a successful relationship and isn’t everything that you need. You need other things to strengthen your relationship and keep it solid. Don’t get so caught up in the love and let go of everything else, assuming that it will all fall into place. Work on these other things as much as you fall in love because these will help your love stand the test of time.

Bayo Ajibola

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