I’ve been married for nearly sixteen years and We have 4 children. I got married around the age of 25 to a very good looking man. Many were completely happy for me because there were many ladies around my husband at the time however he choose me.
I immediately suspected we had an issue in the course of the early years of our marriage but I didn’t recognize how serious it was not until a couple of years ago. In the early days of our marriage,we had sex like once in a week. As time went by,it became once in 2 weeks and it later became once in months.
I feared my husband was having an affair but I never ever found evidence. I cried a lot of times and begged him to get medical help because he said,there was nothing unusual with our sex life. I suffered quietly and fear of talking to anyone. As I got older, I started buying sex toys to satisfy my needs although it wasn’t adequate enough however it helped me survive.
A couple of years ago,we totally stopped having sex. I tried my very best to communicate but my husband wouldn’t bulge. I eventually decided to let the matter rest. I tried to pay attention to myself and be happy. Until finally one day while iI was cleaning my husband’s old bookshelf that no one really goes through in our room. There I discovered some x-rated magazines and I was curious. I went through the magazines and discovered that many of them were gay porn magazines.
I was in great shock and it now beging to make sense that perhaps my husband was gay. I’m talking about a sixteen year old marriage. Could it possibly be that this is the reason we never had regular sex? Ever Since I discovered this,I have been very confused and angry. I confronted my husband and he didn’t actually give me any acceptable answer. He stated,he used to collect them when he was younger,it was fantasy for him,something to jerk off.
I blamed him for tricking me into marrying him knowing he was gay but he denied being gay. He told me,he doesn’t just like sex. I can’t comprehend around any of this. I am very very unhappy and the only thing keeping me in this marriage are my kids. They still need me. They are just getting into University and I don’t want this to impact them.
Having said that,I think I’ve been treated unfairly in this marriage and I deserve to be happy. I know those who are happy even being single parents and recently I am thinking maybe it is time to get out of this god forsaken marriage. I finally confided in my mum who feels I should be praying for my husband. She thinks it is the devil at work and she has scheduled me for a number of prayer houses and deliverance. She thinks that if I could put up with these past years I should keep enduring.
Well,I believe I need to be happy. I deserve to be very happy. I do not want to be unfaithful to my husband but I have needs. Needs which need to be fulfilled its driving me nuts.
I need a very good reason why i should continue with this marriage. Please share my story. I need to hear what other ladies in similar circumstance would do.