I am in a relationship and things are going in a totally different direction from what I am used to, as well as what I expected. I met this guy eight months ago but we started dating three months ago. To be honest, he is a very nice person and I enjoy every moment I spend with him. I have had a great time with him but something has been bothering me and I have not been able to get it off my chest. In my previous relationships, I am used to my boyfriend sending me monthly allowances. All the guys that I have dated in the past know that I work and earn for myself but it does not stop them from sending me money every month. This money they send to me monthly is for my personal upkeep. It doesn’t mean that they won’t buy me things randomly like clothes, bags and the likes. It is just something we all are used to and I am very much okay with it. It is something normal for me so I felt that it is obtainable in most relationships.
The thing is, I finally met this guy I am dating now and it is as if everything had totally changed. When we started dating, we spoke about certain things but we didn’t talk about him sending me money every month. So in the first month of our relationship, I was really expecting him to send me money as has been the situation in my previous relationships but that didn’t happen. The first month went through and I didn’t see anything from him. He came to my place, bought me gifts sometimes and we went on dates and other sightseeing but he never asked for my account details, not to talk of sending me money for my upkeep. I decided to keep quiet and know what his plans were but in the second month of our relationship, it happened again. This is the third month of our relationship and nothing has changed. He has sent me money but it is not large enough to be my monthly allowance. He hasn’t said anything about it and I am beginning to feel very uncomfortable about everything.
He is a nice person, I wouldn’t lie about that but things like this especially when it deals with finances make me quite uneasy. I have thought about talking to him about it but I don’t know how best to discuss it with him. Apart from that, I don’t know if I am overreacting or doing what I am supposed to do. We are in a relationship so I think I have every right to feel the way I am feeling. I am a woman and I have various needs which should be met by money. This is not me trying to make it look as if my major interest in the relationship is money or financial gains, this is just me being very realistic and sincere about how I feel towards my boyfriend’s reaction to things. Please, I want to know if it is normal for guys to send their girlfriends money every month or if I am just acting up unnecessarily. Do they give you allowances in each of your relationships or not? Please let’s be very honest. I didn’t grow up in Nigeria. I grew up in another developing group country, the guys there are really cool and it is very normal for them to send monthly allowances.
I relocated to Nigeria recently, last year to be precise and I have discovered that the standards here vary to a great extent when compared to that of my former location. I am really curious. If the guys here do not send their girlfriends money on a monthly basis, how then do they girls cope? How do they buy certain things that we need as women? This has nothing to do with being jobless, lazy, entitled or greedy; it is about the guys being the guys in the relationship. They have to do these things for their ladies. Before you criticize me or get me wrong, I buy things for my man too, I mean very expensive and significant gifts and not just ordinary gifts. I earn and make my own money but I want to understand how things are done here in Nigeria. Am I wrong to expect money from my boyfriend every month? Please let me know.