My boyfriend ghosted me since last month and now wants me back

Please hide my identity. I want to seek your advice concerning my situation. I have spoken to a few of my friends about it but I still need more thoughts on this. I have a boyfriend whom I have been dating for about seven months now. Things used to be very smooth between us and I really looked forward to having a better relationship with him. Last month, he stopped taking my calls, no prior information, no reason, nothing at all. We didn’t fight, we didn’t quarrel about anything at all. I was so surprised when he just ghosted me.

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I called him so many times but he never answered for once. He was deliberately avoiding my calls and I didn’t know why. I was sad and confused. I needed a response from him at least and an explanation for his attitude but none was coming. I went to his house and he treated me like a total stranger, I was hurt, deeply hurt. I didn’t know my offense, I didn’t know what to do. I cried for a long time. I called his close friends to ask them why he was acting that way but they all said they didn’t know why.

After many days and weeks of crying myself to bed and missing out on important activities because I was sulking, I finally gathered courage and decided to move on. I accepted that my relationship had ended and was willing to move on and be happy. Of course, I stayed away from men and any brewing relationship because I wasn’t ready to fall in love again. Three days ago, my boyfriend called me and started apologizing, saying he was sorry and wanted me back. I have been in tears since then because it brought back all the memories of how I felt when he treated me the way he did.

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He is pleading with me to take him back but I refused. I haven’t gotten over the pain of what he did to me and I haven’t forgiven him for every pain he caused me. I don’t know why he did what he did. I still live him so much but I’m still hurt and scared of being hurt again. What if he wakes up one day and leaves again without an explanation? That means I will feel this way again? I don’t know what to do. Please talk to me.