I am 28 and currently dating a 31 year old young man. Things are not perfect between us just like in every other relationship but we still find a way to make things better. The major issue we have now is that my boyfriend is always claiming to be busy and I can no longer cope with his extremely busy schedule. I am busy on my own because I have a job but as the saying goes, you make out time for someone you love and care about. Regardless of how busy I am, I still make sure I make time to see him or at least call him if I can’t visit him. I call him regularly but he does not do the same. He is always apologizing and explaining that he always has me in mind but his busy schedule would not let him adjust and call me. We have had problems and also quarreled so many times because of this habit but even after he apologizes and promises to do better, it doesn’t make any adjustment.
I work as a secondary school teacher and I always have to make lecture notes and organize extra lessons for my students but this does not stop me from calling and visiting my boyfriend. My boyfriend on the other hand works as a medical laboratory technician in a government hospital. It is not his private establishment so I do not understand why he keeps complaining that he does not have time. They work on shifts so he is free for at least six hours every day. We have had this conversation so many times but nothing improves after everything. Sometimes I wonder if I am not good enough for him or if there is something else that I am not getting right. If you are in a relationship with someone you should at least do the basic things like calling and checking up on them as much as possible. I mean, you claim to care about this person so why is their welfare not important to you?
Most times I wonder if it is because he doesn’t love me but I always end up confused. He sends me money to take care of myself. He also sends me messages on WhatsApp but his major problem is calling. He said he prefers to chat online but I do not find that interesting. I prefer to call someone and hear from them directly instead of texting online. I am 28 and I find it very disappointing that at this age, I am still battling with calls from someone I call my man. I have friends and I know how much they speak with their boyfriends. They literally speak to themselves every four hours. They share almost everything that is going on in their day. They can randomly snap pictures of themselves or their meal and share with their partners. They get nice comments afterwards and things make their relationship grow stronger. Often, I wonder why my own relationship is going like this.
I have been dating him for almost 8 months now and when we started dating initially, he was very nice and called me regularly then. I am so surprised by how much he has changed. I do not know if I wronged him. I have tried to find out from him so many times but all to no avail. He cares about me, I know that but the fact that he doesn’t call me worries me a lot. I don’t know why he is so relaxed when it comes to me. I even threaten to leave the relationship if he does not improve yet he remains unmoved. I am very confused. I love him so much and that is why I am uncertain about what to do. So many times I have said that I won’t call him but I still find myself calling him and visiting him too. How do I make him understand me? He is a very nice person but what is a relationship without good communication? I am very much confused and I need help. I don’t know if I should move on or keep hoping that things will change. Please what should I do