My boyfriend wants to marry me but Our genotype is AS. I am 37 and very desperate to marry. What do I do?

Hi Naijaaparents. Keep me anonymous please. I am a 37-year-old lady and I need help as quickly as possible. I have been quite unlucky when it comes to getting married. I have had numerous suitors in the past but due to some terrible mistakes I deeply regret, I turned most of them down. I have been praying to God and hoping for a miracle. I have been mocked so much and pressured by my family, colleagues, friends and even outsiders to get married. 

My two younger sisters are both married with kids. One has 4 children while the other has two. But for me, I am still struggling with marriage. My mom seizes every opportunity she gets to pester me to get married. I rarely go home because of this yet she calls me from time to time to speak to me about it. She thinks I am possessed and persuades me to go to a man of God. 

Not so long ago, I met a guy I like. He stays in Calabar while I stay in Lagos. We have been talking for sometime now and he is good. Our interests align but the problem is that for both of us, our Genotype is  AS. This is a huge problem for me because if I let this one go, I don’t know if I will meet a guy who will marry me. Sincerely, age is no longer on my side too. 

This guy really cares about me and he still wants us to get married. He has plans of relocating to France next year so he said we could use the technology available there to do sex selection. The idea is great but I am totally not convinced. This is a difficult decision to make but to be very honest with you, I am desperate to get married. I know the health and medical repercussions of this decision to marry someone with the same AS genotype as mine but I honestly want to get married. 

This guy is learned, smart and is also rich so I think he will have enough to pay for the medical requirements of the process. I have told my family about him in order to reduce the pressure coming from them and also give them hope that something is happening. But I did not tell them of his genotype. My mother did not ask, she barely asked me where the guy is from. All she is interested in is for me to get married. 

I am just a receptionist in a small company. Meeting someone else to marry me is something I am not sure of. I don’t want to miss this opportunity. This guy loves me and I love him too.  He is willing to marry me and also relocate with me. I really want to know if this is a good idea. I think France is developed enough and has the basic facilities necessary for such selection. That notwithstanding, I am still scared. What if there is a mistake? I don’t want to give birth to sickle cell children, I am not ready for their crises and suffering. I can’t stand it either. I have suffered enough. 

I really need you guys to advise me. I am not getting any younger and my mother will make life unbearable for me if I do not get married to this one. I want to marry, have my own kids, live and enjoy life but I do not want to suffer. I want to be happy in my marriage. I want my husband and kids to be happy and healthy. Help me please. This is very difficult for me. 


Comments to My boyfriend wants to marry me but Our genotype is AS. I am 37 and very desperate to marry. What do I do?

  • I understand how desperate you are to get married. Situations like this may seem easy till it’s time to go through the actual process. What if you don’t relocate with him? What if something happens and he goes broke? Do you have enough money to foot the process on your own? What if the selection process is unsuccessful? These are vital questions that their answers will determine the step you will take.

    In all honesty, I suggest you let him go. I understand your plight but what if things don’t work out as expected? He has made promises but I prefer you make plans with the present – the reality. Sickle cell crisis is nothing anyone should witness.

    Cynthia Eze September 16, 2020 9:05 am Reply

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