My brother in law hates me.

Please keep me anonymous. I want to express how I feel here and also seek advice from you too. I am a working class mom and wife. I earn well and contribute a lot to my family’s affairs. My husband is a good man and I am convinced he loved me with all he has been doing for me and our children. He is always available both emotionally, physically and otherwise. He supports my dreams regardless of how challenging it may seem. I am a banker and I have attained a significant position in my branch. That notwithstanding, it is extremely time-consuming and many times, I feel bad for not being completely available for my husband and kids. I try as much as possible to strike a balance between my job and being a wife and mom. There are times when this job would require me travel away from home for some days to attend some conferences and other important meetings on behalf of my branch. 

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I am just lucky to have a husband that understands but unfortunately his brother does not understand. My brother in-law hates me. Anything that concerns me makes him fine with rage. It is not entirely a new thing but it is as if it keeps getting worse and I can’t cope with it anymore. It all started when my husband was still planning to marry me. Initially, some of his family members were not entirely in support of our marriage. His brother was the chief of them all. He disliked me even without seeing me or getting to know me. The first day I went to visit his family, he was visibly against his brother marrying me and he didn’t even hide it. He spoke to me rudely and went ahead to as my husband if I was the thing that caught his attention. He referred to me as a thing and he still told my husband that he had a terrible taste. 

My husband told me to ignore him and later explained to me some of the reasons why he wasn’t in support of our marriage. Since then I have been avoiding him knowing so well that he hates to see me. As I said before, I am a banker and he has found more reason to hate me. He hinges on this single thing and claims that I will never make a good wife. He claims that I don’t have time for my husband as I am always at work or traveling for seminars. This is my 7th year of marriage and my husband and I have been doing exceedingly great. He just keeps instigating terrible things that no matter how much I try to overlook them, they still hurt me deeply. My husband has not changed. He still loves me and supports me. He has a flexible job which fortunately gives him the time to take care of our kids when I am not available. 

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My brother in-law comes to my home to stay over once every month because he is running a project in our city and he stays in another state. Many times when he comes, he finds fault in so many things I do. If he doesn’t complain about the food, he complains about my absence or me not having time for my kids. He goes on to say that I turned my husband into a woman because my husband helps me cook and clean sometimes. He doesn’t complain and I usually try to do these things so that he can rest. I wanted to get a househelp but my husband said it wasn’t necessary as he could help with it. Honestly my husband is a wonderful man and I thank my stars for his gift in my life. I can’t ask my brother in-law to stop visiting but when he visits, it is always hell. He stays for one week every month and I don’t know how to avoid him.  

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