I am a mom, married to a man who cares less about important things. He trivializes this so much that I get very mad at him most times. He is so carefree that often, I wonder how I met him and even agreed to settle down with him. We have only five children together, three boys and two girls. My second child is a girl and she is a student in a private university. She is in her final year and we have had conversations a couple of times about her and men. She has told me that different people have been coming for her hand in marriage but she didn’t like any of them and she wanted to finish school first.
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I told her to take her time and not to feel pressured to do anything. I was a very good support system and I ensured I was a good mother and friend to her and her siblings. I was there every step of the way and I even stood in for her father when he was absent. She is in final year and has been telling me about a man she met and she ticks all her boxes. She kept telling me how great the guy was which even heightened my expectations. We finally told her to bring the person home. If he was good enough as she was saying then we would joyfully support their marriage.
She finally brought the man home and I was terribly disappointed. He was nothing close to what we were expecting. He looked very unkempt, hungry looking and worn out. it was as if he has not eaten in a year. His lips were very dark and when I confronted my daughter, she said he smokes but he was trying to stop. Just from seeing him alone, I disliked him. His appearance was nothing close to what I expected and it was so bad that I didn’t even want to see him a second time. I couldn’t withstand him. I have made it very clear to my daughter that I didn’t like him and she is never going to marry him.
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My husband has been acting very unconcerned. He is not saying anything meaningful. He is not supporting me. All he is saying is, if he makes her happy she can go ahead. Go ahead and do what? Marry a drug addict that looks miserable? My first child cannot get into such mess and I want her to bear it in mind. She is beginning to see me like an obstacle and I don’t know what to do about this. Help me.