Please keep me anonymous. I am 26 and I recently graduated from a private university here in the north. I have been making plans of settling down it has been going well until recently. In my third year and even though we started off as friends, he has been a very nice person to me. We started dating when I was in my final year but we had some challenges. First was that we were very distant from each other and even though we tried to manage it properly and do things differently, we still encountered some serious setbacks. I stay in Kaduna while he stays in Warri Delta state. We could not see often due to the distance but we always substituted by using video calls and we also called ourselves often to keep up with events in our life. When I was still a student, I was able to visit him only once when I went from my school to his house in warri. He was very pleased and I spent the weekend at his place. Before I went back to school, he took me to meet his sister to whom he introduced me to as his girlfriend. The lady took my number and once in a while she’d call me. I had a good relationship with my boyfriend but another problem we had was tribal differences.
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I am an Igbo but the guy is not. He was from one of these minority ethnic groups in Delta state. Once in a while, we spoke about our tribal differences and the negative impacts it may have on our relationship but whenever I brought up the relationship, he always gave me the assurance that I had nothing to worry about. According to him, his family especially his parents were easy going people and they would accept me. He always reminded me of his sister that I met and how she welcomed me. Honestly, his sister welcomed me well and it somehow made me feel at peace. He officially proposed to me in May and of course I accepted. We started making plans so to see our people. When I told me parents about him, they kicked against it because of the difference in tribe and religion but honestly it took me a whole lot to convince them. The first time we fixed a date for him to come and see my people, he gave me an excuse that he has a huge presentation to make at his office and it was impromptu.
We rescheduled to another date and on that day, he didn’t show up. I called his line so many times but it didn’t go through. I felt very ashamed of myself. We cooked and invited a few people that were close to us. My father was disappointed and enraged. My mom couldn’t even talk to me. I called his sister as well but she didn’t answer. I cried so much that day. I felt very embarrassed and humiliated. That same day around 11pm. He called me with a new line severally and I refused to answer. After some time, I answered and he said they were robbed. He said a lot of things and I believed him. He later came to see my people the following week. The problem is that after that, he has been giving me some funny moves that I didn’t understand. He no longer calls frequently as before and when I called, he gives me excuses. One Tuesday morning, a lady called me and said a lot of horrible things to she. She said that I should leave his man alone.
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She was sounding very angry, serious and agitated and when I asked about the man he was referring to, he called my fiancé’s name and told me that she was pregnant for him and they were planning their wedding. I was livid. I called him but he didn’t answer. I later reached him and told him all that happened but he tried to cover it up. He said so many things but I had to come back. I went to his house and he was still lying. I called the girl in his presence and she repeated the same thing. I went through his phone and I got her number, I saw their chats too and found out they were really dating. I am heartbroken as I write to you. I am in severe heartwrenching pain. Where do I start from? I have wasted two years of my life dating someone who is nothing but a jerk. A liar. A very big liar. My parents are dissapointed in me. I feel cheated by life. Why me? Why do I have to face this type of thing. I don’t know how to handle this. I am hurting so much. I need advice on what to do please.