I am 32 and engaged to a 34 year old guy. We are making marriage plans already but we are beginning to have issues. I am a banker and my fiance wants me to resign from my job. While we were dating, he never really complained about the job nor me not having time for him, he was always understanding and even though we don’t talk on some days because I get back from work very tired, he still doesn’t complain and he showers me with so much love and affection.
On weekends we always spent great time together. Sometimes we pick a hotel here in Lagos and have fun all by ourselves. My fiance has always been very supportive until now. He has suddenly gotten uncomfortable with my job and wants me to quit. I am a mid-level staff and I earn well too. I have been working at this bank for over three years now and I can say that all my life revolves around the job. I love my job and I don’t think anything can make me quit the job.
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Apart from the fact that I love my job and earn well, I have people that are depending on me for their survival. I have younger siblings that are still students and they always expect me to send money to them. My immediate younger sister is currently in her final year and she is running her project. I send her money regularly to facilitate things and if I don’t, she won’t be able to complete her project. My brother on the other hand just got admitted into the university and I am still the person taking care of his academics and other needs.
I still have my aging parents to take care of. My dad goes for medical check up regularly and I still cater for their feeding and other bills. These are just some of the few people that depend on me. So how exactly am I supposed to just resign? I mean how will I take care of myself and my family? My fiance never complained about my job when we were dating and suddenly he no longer thinks he is okay with it. It is very annoying. I have had a conversation with him about this before so I can understand what his major reason for telling me to resign was but he didn’t say anything tangible.
All he said was that a banking job is not good for someone who is just starting a family. I don’t think that is in any way a reason. I have colleagues that are married and they are still able to raise their kids well even with their job. What will make mine different? I can work and raise a family. I won’t be the first person to do it nor will I be the last. I have tried so much to explain this to him but he doesn’t seem to understand. It is gradually turning into a huge misunderstanding and I don’t like it.
I have asked him if he has another job ready for me but he keeps saying we will find something else. I don’t want to just depend on his words, I need something solid to hold onto. I have people depending on me and I can’t just walk away from something I already have and become a housewife. I don’t know if I am overreacting or not but this is exactly how I feel. Am I wrong? What should I do?