When we were 18, Maya welcomed Ellie and even named her after me. During that period, Maya and I weren’t on the healthiest path in our relationship but when we found out she was pregnant, that brought us closer together. Last year, I proposed to her and we were scheduled to get married in late 2020, but covid stopped our plans. Prior to finding out Ellie wasn’t mine, I had no suspicions at all. In fact, I was even hearing from my family that Ellie looked just like me when I was a baby.
I’m blood type O and so is Maya meaning that Ellie could only be type O. After taking her to the doctors, I discovered that she was type A. I’m a little rough on Biology so I had to do my own research, and it’d have to be a miracle for Ellie to be type A with 2 o’s. Before bringing this to Maya, I decided to have a paternity test done in hopes that I was wrong about this and that it was all in my head. It came back that I wasn’t the father and I was devastated. I actually tried to live with the fact that I wasn’t the father, but that lasted no more than a week. When I confronted Maya about it, she actually denied it, but when I showed her the paternity test, she was confused, then remembered that she had cheated on me. She kept saying it was a one night stand and it didn’t mean anything, she was freaking out, but it meant something to me. I was extremely conflicted on whether to stay for Ellie or not, but I chose not to, and that turned a lot of heads.
Breaking the news to my family/close friends was rough and it took some time. My family is very close with Maya & Ellie. When I finally told them, they comforted me but then my mom said that “at least ellie will grow up with a father that is loving enough to stay”. I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing at all in that time. My mom called me and asked why me, Maya, & Ellie haven’t visited for the week acting like everything I had just said the other day went over her head. I was still figuring out how I felt about this whole thing, but I told her I don’t think that I will be seeing them anymore.
I love Ellie so much, she was my #1 priority in the world but even looking at pictures of her reminds me of how her mom cheated on me and I remember she’s not mine. I don’t think it’s that cruel of me to notice this, but the others around me say otherwise. They’re saying I’m going to damage Ellie by not seeing her anymore and that she needs a father figure in her life. I understand that she needs one, but can’t my feelings be taken into account as well? There are 2 people that I love most in this world, Maya & Ellie. Unfortunately, Maya cheated on me which resulted into Ellie not being my daughter, I need time for that.
Maya was texting me nonstop, saying Ellie wanted to talk to me, apologizing, sending voice notes. Even when I asked her to stop, she kept doing that so I had to block her. She is sending messages through family/friends to deliver to me. I mean I have mutual friends between Maya and I AGAINST me because i’m such a monster for leaving Ellie.
Right now I am staying with my parents, hoping to move out soon. I am 32 years old. My whole adulthood has revolved around providing for what I thought was my family. I’m trying to figure out what young adulthood really means. I no longer have to say “No, I can’t hang out, I have to spend tonight with family”, but it’s all too new to me. If I want to go out, I can go out. Usually Maya works from 5pm -12am. l can step out the house for more than 2 hours now. Idk, that was life changing. Keeping my head high right now is all i’m trying to do. I’m stepping back to discover who I am outside a father & fiancee, but people around me don’t seem to understand. I am feeling pressured to go back and act like everything is fine.
TLDR; Daughter is not mine and I have since parted ways to find myself. I think I made an okay decision, but others around me think otherwise.
Btw, I’m not asking what to do in regards to ellie, I’m asking what to do with the constant hate of people around me. I’m taking my time to figure out what to do regarding that situation.