Please keep me anonymous. I engaged my girlfriend five months ago and I’ve been making plans of completing the marital rites. I have already done her introduction and we were both planning for our traditional marriage and white wedding. We don’t stay in the same place but distance was never a barrier. We had good communication and we understood each other. As a result of this, we found ways to make our relationship work amidst the distance and other irregularities. I am in my mid thirties while she’s in her late twenties. We are both adults so we always knew what we wanted and how best to handle them. I work as a health care worker in one of the hospitals in Uyo while she works as a secretary in Lagos. Shortly after our engagement, she came to visit me and we went down. It was an unprotected sex because it was a surprise visit and since I didn’t know she was coming I did not get a condom. Moreover, she was okay with it, she didn’t object so we continued.
The next day, I was supposed to get the emergency contraceptive pill but I was already late for work and I had a lot of things to do so it slipped my mind. However, while leaving for work, I told her where to buy it since I couldn’t. I also gave her money and ensured she promised me to buy it. Well, I got to find out later from her that she was pregnant. I was a bit sad but since I had unprotected sex with her, I didn’t doubt it. All I did was ask her if she bought the drugs and of course she replied in the affirmative. Since I already engaged her, there was almost nothing to worry about so I simply started making plans to make things official before her baby bump became more visible. We were planning things together, I wanted a simple wedding but she wanted a big wedding even when she knew about my financial status. I tried to convince her on why we should go for a simple wedding but for each single reason I gave, she had about fifty more reasons why a big wedding was the best.
We hired an event planner, got a lot of things in place, picked her wedding gown including our wedding rings. We were also beginning to tell some of our friends about our wedding that was coming up but something striking happened. I was going through her phone one day when she got a call from someone. She was having her bath when a message popped up. I ignored it initially but it kept on coming in like someone was having a serious conversation with her. I was actually busy working on a project on my laptop but the notifications from the messages on her phone were distracting. So I reached for her phone to put it on do not disturb mode. That was when I saw a striking message. I opened it and I saw many other messages that left me dumbfounded.
Apparently, she was cheating on me with this guy. I also saw the exact hospital result she showed me for her pregnancy. She sent it to the guy too and it was even before she sent it to me. I read their previous chats and I found out that she was actually pregnant for the guy and not me and that was part of the reason why she had to visit me unannounced. I am very hurt. I have not confronted her about it but I am definitely ending this marriage and it’s plans. I am still very shocked and I don’t know the best way to even handle this. That is why I am writing to you. What can I do? Should I show her the chats or what? What if she has cleared the chat from her phone? I am confused and tired. Please help me.