I am engaged to be married in less than three months away from now. My boyfriend and I dated for a year before he proposed to me. My problem right now is that he seems to be a mummy’s boy. His parents are always determining what he will do and I don’t like it. He cannot comfortably take a decision without involving his mom or his dad. Sometimes we will agree on something and when he speaks with his mom or his dad, he will change his mind and decide to do what they said or suggested. I understand that he is close to his parents but I do not like the fact that he can’t comfortably do things without telling either of his parents. I have confronted him about this thing on many occasions, he apologizes and promises not to do it again but it is only for a while. He will still continue.
We are making marriage plans and we are picking suitable dates. We scheduled our wedding to be in September because it doesn’t rain that period. Then our traditional marriage will come up in June because I have post graduate exams that will run through the month of May. We agreed on this and he said it was okay. We then decided to inform our parents of our plans. I told my parents and they were okay with it. My fiance called me later in the day to tell me that his parents have plans totally different from what we agreed on. It was not even a slight adjustment. They want us to do our wedding and traditional marriage on the same day which is even going to be in May. The same May that I have my exams. I reminded my fiancé that I have exams that May and he said the exam is going to be just a day and I can do it.
Weddings require planning. How am I going to plan my wedding while preparing for my exams? It was completely inconsiderate. We also agreed to have our trad and white wedding on different days and they suddenly want it to be in a day. These are going to be once in a lifetime thing and I want to have all the fun I can get. I don’t want to muddle both events up in one day. They said its because they want to cut expenses but we already have plans to fund our wedding by ourselves. I work so I am also contributing a large percentage to the wedding and trade. It’s not as if I am completely depending on him to fund these things alone. I always feel bad that his parents influence our decisions.
Read also: I am not my parents’ biological child.
He speaks with his mother everyday and he tells her everything about his day. It is almost as if he doesn’t have a secret. I don’t know how I am going to cope with this kind of thing. My fiancé got a new job in a location different from where he used to work. Because of this, the distance was far and he had to move to a new area. We were searching for an apartment for him and we had two options. He was confused and asked me to help him choose. I chose one that had a better view and serenity. The environment was calm and the house was okay even though it was farther than the other one. It was #200 ride while the other one was #100 ride but he has a car so it wouldn’t even be an issue. However the other one was situated close to the market so it was always noisy and my boyfriend doesn’t like noise. He agreed to pick the second one where he would have peace and less noise.
Do you know that after he spoke with his mom, he decided to pick the one that is close to a market. According to his mom, it is closer to his workplace so when he doesn’t feel like driving, he can comfortably use a commercial vehicle. I was very very annoyed. I reminded him that the location was noisy and he said he would manage. I just kept quiet. These are just a few of the many things that have been happening. I am worried, a lot. I don’t know how I am going to cope with this kind of thing. What if it continues in marriage? My man cannot take a decision and stand by it. Does it mean that even when we get married, his parents will be the ones to make decisions for us? I don’t want to be frustrated in marriage. What do you people think I should do? I am really disturbed.