My friend’s fiancee is marrying someone else! How do I break the news?

Photo by Darius Bashar on Unsplash

I travelled home about two weeks ago since I chose to take my holiday after everyone. Last week I met an old classmate of mine and we decided to catch up for old times’ sake. We got into a restaurant and conversation kept flowing as we filled each other in on our escapades and lives since we last met. Everything was laid bare!

It turns out my friend is in a serious relationship. They had planned to get married but he got a job offer he couldn’t turn down. He took the job and since it was out of the country, wedding plans were put on hold. It’s another African country so I wouldn’t say it’s too far away but he has been at this job for two years now. He tries to travel home every quarter so he’s been seeing his girlfriend as often.

She happened to get pregnant and they decided to wait until the baby came for them to get married. He said that was ‘the right way’ since they are both born-again Christians. They continued living separately throughout as they waited to walk into ‘holy matrimony.’ The lady gave birth three months before my friend got the job offer. My friend was fully involved in the pregnancy with monetary, physical, and emotional support so it didn’t affect their relationship in any way, or so I assumed.

He said the job offered him a very good salary and an assurance of a job near his home once his initial 2-year contract was over, that’s why he couldn’t pass up on the opportunity. They both agreed that taking the job was the best option for him. He’s been sending money to the girl and baby, keeping in touch, and visiting every three or four months when he gets a chance.

He was so excited that he would finally be coming back to be with his ‘family’ so he showed me a photo of them. You could tell he’s proud of his people! But I couldn’t believe what I saw. I know the girl in the photo. She’s dating someone else! I know this because the person she’s dating is a friend of mine. We’ve interacted in different settings and I’ve come across him with the girl and the child.

It gets complicated because these guys are also planning a wedding. How do I know? I was added to a WhatsApp group tasked with wedding contributions and planning. The girl is actively planning a wedding with another man and this old friend of mine is so excited because he can finally start making plans to marry this same girl in a few months. He said plans begin in April because his assignment officially ends in March. Since he’ll have enough money to get things moving, there’s no reason to waste time!

He had actually intended to start official introductions in December of last year but something came up so they postponed it to March. If I’m not wrong, the thing that came up was this lady had travelled to meet this other guy’s family in the village. That other wedding is in late February and things seem to be moving smoothly if the updates in the group are anything to go by.

I tried asking my friend some probing questions but that was it. I haven’t said a word to him but I don’t even know where to begin. Both men are getting married to this lady and both think the child is theirs. How do I go about this? What’s the bro code here?

A mom, a lover of family, a thinker, and friend of Christ. Writing brings it all together!

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