Please keep my identity hidden. I am a 34 year old Male Nurse based in Canada. I am a Nigerian and I only come home once every year due to the nature of my job. I only return more than once depending on what I’m returning to do and how pressing it is. I am of marriage age and I have enough resources, money and more to take care of a woman. The issue however is that getting someone to marry has been a very difficult task for me. Considering my location and the nature of my job, I find it difficult to see women of my taste and character. Here, in Canada, it is not easy for me to meet a young Nigerian lady who is within my age bracket and is doing well. I mostly see ladies who are way younger than me or way older than me.
I can’t marry a white or anyone who is not a Nigerian so that is out of the picture. When I see Nigerian ladies that I like and they are within my age bracket, something else comes up. Sometimes they are not from my tribe and I won’t be able to marry someone who isn’t from my tribe because my family may not give their blessings. If it’s not a tribe, the person is either not in the medical field or doing something meaningful like a good paying and sustainable job. When I see someone who is in the medical field, she is usually a very young girl and I don’t want to have anything to do with ladies between 22 to 26. They usually have a certain way of reasoning that I find unattractive.
I have tried getting a wife for myself but due to these issues and other reasons, getting a wife has been difficult for me. Because of this, I asked my friends, parents and siblings in Nigeria to help me find a Nigerian wife. I told them she must be from my tribe and also gave them other specifications. One of my friends was able to find one for me and she is my current girlfriend. We have been talking for three months now and I can say that she is lovely. However, the problem is that she is not very smart. She doesn’t speak English fluently and when we speak, it impairs the conversation. Her grammar is not very sound and honestly it turns me off.
Often, we have to speak our native language for us to communicate effectively with each other. She is a graduate and she is already working. The fact that her English is not up to par weakens me. I am beginning to love her and even envisage a future with her but each time we communicate, it is as if I am trying to manage her. She is not even in the medical field and that is another issue but it doesn’t worry me so much. She studied accountancy in one of the Nigerian Universities. I love her and that is why I am scouting for solutions or things I can possibly do to make her grammar better.
I can’t overlook it because it is something that worries me a lot especially when we communicate. I often find myself trying to use low-level English just so we can be on the same level yey it doesn’t help the situation. We only vibe well when we use our dialect but how long is it going to continue? She is going to join me here in Canada so how will she effectively communicate with other people here? She will meet my friends and colleagues and she’d need to speak well, how will she do that? It is obviously not in our dialect. Besides, I don’t think I’ll be proud to show her off to my friends and colleagues considering the fact that her grammar is grossly lacking. I know what the standard here is and that is why I am bothered.
That aside she’d need to write some exams for her to join me so how will she pass them? I am really worried. I love her but the constraints are much. Where do I begin? I am tired of looking for a wife, it is draining and that is why I want to know how I can improve the one I already found. At least, I love her and that is what matters to me. She is homely, hardworking and prayerful too. She is very industrious, even with her regular job, she still has side businesses she does to earn a living. She has great qualities of a wife and that’s why I don’t want to leave her. I want to know, how can I improve her English? I need suggestions please.