My girlfriend spends all her income on clothes and hair

Please hide my identity. I am going to be 30 January next year and I intend to have a stable relationship and hopefully settle down by the middle of next year at most. I have my own business and it’s going well. I am doing well for myself and settling down is the major thing on my mind now. I have a girlfriend whom I have been dating for almost two years now. We have had issues so many times but we still find a way to settle our issues amicably and get back together. Most of these issues we have are always due to almost the same thing. It boils down to finances and management of money. Growing up, I did not have a rosy life. I came from a struggling home. My parents were not doing great. They were struggling to feed us and themselves so right from time, I got used to hustling very early in life. 

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We were eight children so imagine the kind of hardship we went through. I am the fourth child so I had the responsibility of also working hard to provide for my family. I was able to go to school in a polytechnic and after that, I went straight into business. It took me time to gain my feet but I am finally. Why I am saying this is just to let you know that I suffered. I really really struggled to get where I am today so I am very conscious about how I spend money even though I have enough currently. This my girlfriend is wide eyed. She is good but her major character flaw is always spending huge amounts of money on absolutely irrelevant things. I admit that we need to look good, try to fit in or scale up to the current trends and to do these, we have to spend. I admit all of that but when you channel all of your money into things like that, it makes you look like a fool. 

My girlfriend works with a reputable firm. She does not have such a big rank but she earns well at least. She earns about 150k every month and to tell you the truth, she does not spend it on anything meaningful. All she does is buy clothes, shoes, hair and other luxuries that she can do without. I know she is a woman and they pay extra attention to looks more than we guys do but that is not enough reason for her to spend money the way she does. She saves but her savings are not much. So many times, I have sat her down to talk to her about her spending culture and many times it didn’t end well. She is always misunderstanding me and that is a total turn off for me. She always plays the pity card and I hate it. Many times she sees it as if I am trying to insult her or make her feel like she doesn’t behave like an adult. She says I treat her like a child. 

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We have had problems because of this thing so many times and even when she promises to change, she never really changes. She just stops buying on impulse for a while and after some time she goes back to who she really is. I want to marry but I do not want to marry someone who does not take finances seriously. Things are hard now and apart from that, we need to be intentional and smart about how we spend. I do not want to marry someone who will not add to the family. She needs to contribute at least something, she mustn’t always spend her salary on clothes or shoes, she has to contribute to the house too. Since we have been dating I can’t beat my chest and point at any equipment she bought with her money. Virtually everything in my house including her apartment, I paid for it. I pay for her house rent and still buy her clothes. I don’t know what to do. Please talk to me. I don’t want to make mistakes in my choice of a life partner.   

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