Please keep me anonymous. I am in my early thirties and I am planning to settle down at most next year, probably the first or second quarter. I have a girlfriend whom I have been dating for over a year now. She is tall, fair, beautiful and really presentable. I love her so much and I wanted her to be my wife but thinking more about it I am beginning to see some things that I can’t really explain. Yes, it may be sounding odd that I am just beginning to notice this thing about someone I have been dating for over a year now but things just happened. The thing is, initially when we started dating, it was not as if I had plans of marrying her. At at then, I just needed a girlfriend since I had been out of relationship for a long time. I met her through an old school friend and we became friends. She was nice and jovial, I liked her vibe and when I asked her out, she agreed she felt the same way about me and we started our relationship.
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Since we have been together, I have been spending so much money on her. She always asked for expensive things and I do buy it for her. I have the money so it’s not a problem. It is now that I am beginning to take a look at all the time we have been dating and all that I have spent on her. The striking thing is that she works. She earns well yet I have to spend so much on her. She is someone that loves fashion so she is always buying shoes and clothes. She buyd on impulse. She could be going to work or somewhere else and once she sees something she likes, be it a cloth or a bag, she makes a transfer and buys it. It is as if a greater percentage of her salary goes to what she wears including make up and perfumes. I know how many times that she has bought something while we wear going somewhere.
We could be hanging out or going to see a friend and once she sees anything that catches her attention, she asks me to stop the car so she can buy it and most times I end up paying for those things because obviously, I am with her. I don’t like this kind of lifestyle and I don’t know how long I can cope with it. We are going to have kids and hopefully raise a home, is this how she is going to do that? How long is she going to keep buying on impulse? If you go to her house, it is like a fashion store. She lives in a two bedroom apartment and she has almost converted one room to her wardrobe or store room. She has a lot of dresses yet she keeps buying. I buy clothes for her and also for myself too. Every month I set aside a particular amount of money that goes into buying clothes and perfumes. I spend wisely but she doesn’t.
Sometimes I even imagine if she can manage if anything happens. Yes no one prays for that but at least we should think about these things. She is highly extravagant and I don’t like it. Apart from this her rough way of spending, she is really a great person and cares truly about me but marriage is beyond that. Marriage needs money and if she continues with this lifestyle it may be very difficult for us to cope. We are going to have children and if she doesn’t stop now, she may end up impacting this bad attitude into our kids. I have taught her many times to set aside a percentage of her salary to different things so that she can save and spend wisely but she just can’t keep to it. I am tired and really concerned. How do I make her do better. It is very important to me and I don’t want to end this relationship because of this reason.