Hide my identity please. I am 30 and my girlfriend is 25. I am quite an introvert and I like my space a lot. I also don’t like noisy people or noisy places which is why most times even when I am outside, I am always with my airport or headset which enables me to block noise or unnecessary conversation. The fact that I am an introvert doesn’t mean that I don’t associate with people. It also doesn’t mean that I expect everyone to be an introvert just like me. I understand that people are different and I try to accommodate people and their individual differences. I also have friends that are highly extroverted and they are nice people. The main thing is that they know and understand and I also understand them in return. All my life since I started dating, most of my girlfriends are quiet people just like me.
That they are quiet doesn’t mean that our relationship is boring as many people think. They are just calm like me which makes it very easy for both of us to coexist and agree on many things. Fast forward to last year, I met my current girlfriend at a health seminar. She was jovial and I loved how well she interacted with me and other people around her. That was where it all started. To be honest, I felt it was all going to stop at the friendship level but as time passed, things progressed. I was very surprised that I was having feelings for her. She just seemed so different and regardless of the fact that she was an outgoing person, I still found many reasons to be with her and convinced myself that she was different. That has been the situation for five months we have been dating until recently.
Recently, I found myself seeing her differently. It seems as if she is becoming too extroverted for my liking. When we go outside, she talks freely to people including guys. She acts too nice and smiles at almost everybody which takes her attention away from me. Because she plays the nice girl, outsiders start a conversation with her even when I am present and one other thing that annoys me is that she doesn’t know how to control these conversations. You know she can cut those conversations because she is with her boyfriend but no she continues and I end up not talking since she seems to be conversing with a stranger. I have talked to her about it and how it makes me feel neglected and unappreciated but even after she promises to do better, nothing really changes.
I have many of such instances and that is why I am finally talking about it here. She is very kind and I love her so much and I already planned to propose to her on Valentine’s day but these little things are giving me concern. To you, it may sound small or unimportant but they actually affect. Imagine going out with your partner and another person steals her attention away from you, leaving you lonely? It is very bad and makes you feel awkward. I don’t like it and like I said before, I have spoken to her but nothing happened. Don’t understand or define it as me being jealous or too demanding. It’s not jealousy, it’s exactly how I feel and I wish to be heard by heard, understood and treated better. If you have other ways you think I should go about this, please talk to me. I want to hear these suggestions. Thank you.