Please keep me anonymous. I am hoping to settle down as soon as I can. I am turning 30 next year and I would love to settle down before next year ends. I have a girlfriend whom I haven’t known for so long. We are still working things out and so far, she is trying. My friends too think that she will make a good wife. I think so too but I am not very sure. I have my reservations and I honestly get too picky sometimes and end up overthinking things. I watch the way new marriages fail these days so much that sometimes, getting married scares the hell out of me. I have known my girlfriend for seven months now. It doesn’t seem like so much time to know someone before deciding to end up with the person. Left for me, she is just okay, nothing so extra and that is why I would want to continue the relationship for some time before I eventually decide to settle down. However my friends think that I am doing too much by scrutinizing the girl.
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Like I said before, she is a nice person. In these past few months that we have been together, I have observed some things which I do not know if they are actually red flags or I just unnecessarily took note of them. My girlfriend loves me and because she sees a long term relationship or a future with me, she tells me about some private things. She told me that her mom cheats on her dad and it has gotten so bad that the dad found out so he rarely talks to the mom anymore. She said the mom is the breadwinner of her family which is partly the reason why her father is yet to insist on her leaving the house. She said this cheating has been going on for some time now and even though she knew, her father didn’t know until recently. She complains so much about her mom and her lifestyle that I began to think twice about this relationship.
I know people are different so it may be wrong for me to judge her based on what she told me about her mom but I am really not okay with it. The reason is this. Why we have been dating, I noticed that she has this penchant for going out without informing me. Don’t understand this the wrong way. What I mean is this. Every morning, we talk about how our day would go. We share our plans and sometimes help each other plan our day if it is necessary. I will always tell her if I have to go somewhere after work probably to see a friend or to run other businesses. She knows everything about my movement everyday. I am that open. However, on her own end, she doesn’t share her plans with me, especially when she has to go out.
She could go out without even giving me any heads up. Later in the day, she will still not tell me, I will only find out that she went out when she posts the pictures on her page. When I ask her she will say it’s nothing serious. How is it nothing serious when she also hangs out with men without informing me. We are in a relationship and I believe that I deserve to know even if it’s just where she is going to and with whom. She doesn’t see things this way and she answers calls anyhow even when we are together. I don’t know if marrying her will be safe? I know no marriage is perfect but at least I want mine to be good enough to stand the test of time. What do you think I should do about this?