Please hide my identity. This marriage struggle is seriously draining me. Is this how every marriage is? I want to understand how other married couples coexist. Like how exactly do both of you agree on things? I love my husband, no doubt but even though we have been married for some time, we disagree on certain things. Although we have always found ways to proffer solutions to these issues, I find it tiring that we disagree too much. I met my husband when I was a student and he wasn’t like this.
He was so soft and sweet and always wanted us to agree on things together. Fastword to after our wedding, about a year later, we were already disagreeing on a lot of things. I am very submissive and a peacemaker so no matter what happens, I end up making peace With him. Now, we have been married for 13 years. Our first child is 13 years and the other two children are 10 and 7 respectively. Where the problem lies is in raising these kids. I know a lot of you will ask how we have been raising them since we got married.
Honestly, it took a lot of patience and I need a better approach that works. My husband always likes to have his way even when he is wrong. He has this feeling of I am the man and most times I just allow him to have his way but I hate it. Our kids, especially the first and second ones, always want to do things their way. They attend a big school and most times want to do things because their friends are doing it. I am trying to teach them how to do things on their own and not because someone else wants to do something but because my husband always grants their wish.
The other day, the second 2nd came home and said she wanted a blue school bag with pictures of butterflies on it simply because her friend wants the same. Her school bag is new, I just bought it last two months and I tried to explain and teach her why I can’t buy a new one yet but my husband already promised he’d buy it and he bought it the next day. He does this a lot even with toys and clothes. I don’t like it. I want to teach them to be contented with what they have and not follow the crowd. Now when I refuse to do something for them, they just meet their dad and he does it. Sometimes they don’t even bother asking me at all, they go straight to the dad. What can I do?