My husband doesn’t have time for me and my child.

Kindly hide my identity. I know that life gives us realities quite different from others. I have come to realize that my reality is a sad one and I am seeking ways to get out of this mess. I am a 26 year old young mother of one. I got married two years ago to someone I thought was going to be my peace of mind. My husband was a good man while we were dating. He is a medical doctor and as expected he had a lot of work to do. However, he used to make time for me. We lived in the same state but different locations but that didn’t stop him from coming to see me every week. Sometimes when he is free on a weekend, he comes over to my place or I go over to his place. He comes with flowers and a lot of groceries. Sometimes when he is on a call during the weekend, he finds a way to make it free, most times he pleads with his friend to work on his behalf. 

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These are some of the things he did to ensure that we never stay for long without each other. I saw his efforts, they were genuine and even though I wanted to see him more often, I was grateful that he was making out time for me and going all the way out just to be with me. However after marriage, it seems like all these have changed. No, it doesn’t seem so, everything has changed and I feel terrible about it. My husband no longer has time for me. He used to be busy but at least, he made time for me then but now, he doesn’t even care at all. He leaves for work very early in the morning and comes back very late in the night. Sometimes he leaves before I even wake up and he returns when it is very late and our child is asleep. I used to stay up late so I could welcome him and serve him dinner but he doesn’t eat past 7pm so he doesn’t eat dinner at home because he comes back later than 7pm. 

When I gave birth to our daughter, he was so happy. He always wished I would give birth to a girl first and when I did, he was excited. Now our daughter is growing up and he barely spends time with her. I always thought he was going to be inseparable from her but sincerely, he rarely touches her. He comes home when she is already asleep so he can’t even carry her or spend time with her. My baby is barely 18 months and my husband doesn’t feel weird by not spending time with her. I remember how he spoke endlessly about not letting his kids out of his sight but now, the reverse is the case. He barely sees my daughter. I have complained so many times but there has been absolutely no improvement. Our marital life is a mess, zero communication and no intimacy. I can’t remember the last time we had a good conversation as couples. 

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Should I even talk about sex? There is almost no sex life because he comes back very late and everyday so touching me or the last thing that will be on his mind. I do not like this kind of lifestyle. It worries me. I raise my daughter all by myself and I am scared that my daughter may not have a good relationship with her father when she grows up. Whenever I complain, he says that he is working to earn for our well-being but that doesn’t make me feel any better. There is money but I do not have peace of mind or as little as love from someone I call my husband. This marriage thing is leaving me depressed and worried. I am no longer the lovely vibrant woman I used to be and I seem to be getting worse by the day. I need help please. I am no longer enjoying this marriage and it is just for two years. How long will I have to cope with my husband’s absence and indifference? 

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