My husband doesn’t want another child

Please keep me anonymous. I am a married woman and I have been married for Four years now. My husband and I are doing very well in our respective careers. I work as a top nurse in a federal hospital in Ekiti while my husband works for a company here although their head office is in Japan. We are both in good health and living peacefully. We have a daughter aged three  and she is very beautiful. I am usually quite busy in the hospital but I do not allow it to interfere with my family. My husband works in the company’s branch here in Nigeria but from time to time, he goes to their head office in Japan for training. Sometimes he stays for a month. Other times he stays more than a month. Before we got married, we agreed that we are going to give our kids a space of three years at least. This was to enable us to raise our kids properly. Immediately after marriage, I conceived and gave birth so we didn’t have any issues. I was on contraceptive to avoid getting pregnant since my husband was someone who loved sex and I didn’t want to deny him sex because I didn’t want to get pregnant without raising my daughter well. 

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In our third year of marriage, I reminded my husband that it was time for us to have another child. Our daughter has grown to a point and it was best for us to give her a sibling at least. To be honest with you, I never expected it to be an issue or anything difficult because it was something we agreed on before marriage and just like every other family, we wanted kids and we could only achieve that through conception. I told my husband and he just brushed it off. I didn’t read any meaning into it. Another day, while we were having sex, he tried to use condom as always but I refused. He got angry and I tried to explain to him that it was time for Austin to try for another child. His exact comment was ‘where are you even rushing to?’ I was really angry and I told him that I want to have more kids like other women and I want to have a son for my husband. It wasn’t fair that he was acting uninterested about something that would benefit the both of us. He got angry and left the room to sleep in the guest room. 

I tried to apologize to him the next day but he was still angry so I left for work. In the evening, he was in a better mood and willing to talk. I tried to explain to him why we had to have more kids but he was not yielding. According to him, he was not financially stable and would not want to have a child he cannot take care of. He wanted to give his children the best life just like I do. He said a lot of things but none of them really made sense to me. We are not broke. We are not poor. We are not even anything close to that. My husband and I are doing very well. I am a top nurse in a federal hospital and I am paid well. My husband on the other hand even earns more than me so finance should not even appear in any of his excuses. I tried to remind him of this but he still feels it’s not enough to raise multiple kids. 

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Apart from that, poor people even have kids.  It is not as if I am advising people to have numerous kids but I want a child. My mother-in-law, including some friends, are already on my neck and I am tired of making constant excuses. I want another child. My daughter is grown enough and it is only right that we have another one. We agreed on four kids and we just had one and my husband is already making me talk too much. I am yet to find details out what his real reason is because I can’t believe it’s money that is the problem. It is not even possible. What can I do to make him see reasons with me?  

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