My husband doesn’t want us to have children.

I have been married for three years now. My husband is a business man and I am a secondary school teacher in our area. I have been very understanding with my husband but I no longer understand him or what his plans are for our family and our future. Every couple wants to have kids and mine is not different. All my life I have dreamt of having beautiful kids, I love kids so much and most of the people I come across know. When I met my husband, he knew I loved kids, I told him severally and he could also see it from the way I related with my sister’s children including our neighbors. 

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We also spoke about the number of children we would have when we get married. Two months after our wedding, I noticed my husband was constantly using protection. I had a conversation with him and asked him what was wrong. He said he didn’t want a child at that time because his business was struggling. According to him, he spent quite a lot during the wedding and it would take him some time to readjust. I was jobless then so I somehow understood what he was saying. I wasn’t contributing anything to the family so I couldn’t really challenge what he said. 

Moreover, he said he wanted us to bond well and enjoy the first stage of our marriage. Even though it didn’t go down well with me completely, I understood what he was saying and had to bear with him. After the first year of our marriage, people started talking about me and how I have stayed long without conceiving. Even though these comments were affecting me, I had to keep a positive attitude and approach everyone in a well-mannered manner. I told my husband about it and he asked me to ignore them which I did. We stayed for the next year and my husband was still acting funny so I told him that it was time.

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He still turned it down that he wasn’t ready. Who on earth is not ready to have a child two years after marriage? I was furious. His family members were already looking at me like I couldn’t get pregnant. His mother was already asking me to come to her house so that we can go and see a prayer woman. I couldn’t tell her what was wrong. This is currently our third year of marriage and he has even reduced how much he has sex with me. In a month, we might just have sex for four times. It was that bad and I was even the person always disturbing him. I don’t know what to think. People are disturbing me about child birth, I am okay.

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