My husband has refused to get a job.

I want to seek your advice please. I am tired of this marriage and the only reason why I have not left for my parents’ house is just because of my children. I am suffering too much. My efforts to improve are not working. My husband is not even helping matters. We have four children that are still very small. We got married in 2015 and I still don’t know how we made it to this phase because I keep threatening to leave the house. In 2015 when we got married, I was working at a pure water production factory while my husband was working as a driver with a transport company. We were not rich but since it was just the two of us, we could feed and take care of ourselves.

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When we had our first child, I had to quit my job at the pure water factory while my husband was providing for us. He was not making enough to take care of us and the baby. It even got so bad that my mother has to send foodstuffs for us from the village. I was also seeking help from some of my close friends that were willing to help. We were just surviving based on what we could get from people. My husband was working but we couldn’t rely on his salary because it was too small. When things got so tough for us, I had to call my mother and I begged her to allow me to come home so that my baby could at least be okay and I could feed well. Luckily, my mom was very glad to receive us.

For a long time now I have been the one taking care of the family, the kids’ school fees, rent, feeding, clothing and other needs. It is safe to say that my husband has completely forgotten his duties as a husband and most importantly as a father. He almost contributes nothing for the wellbeing of myself and the children. He still does his transportation business but he is so unserious. He leaves the house very late in the morning and returns home quite early. I have tried my best to inform him that drivers make more money early in the morning when people are going to work than late in the evening when people are returning from work.

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I am tired of carrying the family responsibilities alone. I am overworking myself and it is very unhealthy for me. I am planning to leave this marriage. Since my husband has failed to help me raise the children, I plan to return to my father’s house. I have spoken to my husband enough. It is clear that he doesn’t want to change or even take care of the children. I have tried my best and it is time to move on with my life. I may leave two of his kids for him while I leave with the remaining two. I know it is going to be difficult but I am tired. I think he is only lazy because I have been providing for him. Now when I leave, I know he will appreciate what I have been doing and also try to do better. Is this a good idea? Please advise me.