My husband has refused to relocate to Netherlands with me.

I am a mother and an educator. I am 36 years old with four children. I have immense love for education and this led me to further my studies and acquire numerous certifications. It further gave me a career in academia where I have been working as a lecturer and sustaining myself and my family. My field is health sciences and as much as I love teaching students and impacting knowledge, I also have huge interest in research and discovery. This research requires lab work and the use of sophisticated lab equipment to carry out certain activities and arrive at the desired result. However, it is sad that Nigeria doesn’t have such equipment to help me goals.

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As a result of this, I have been searching for a job abroad in order to enable me gain access to such equipment that will help me carry out my research. I have gotten a job in an institution that has a well-equiped laboratory and I was there since a year while shuttling to and fro Nigeria. Now, I can fully relocate with my family. This is a dream come true as I have to spend great time with my family while doing what I love and carrying out research. I believed that it will be the solution to my problems and expected my husband to be very excited about the news but I was wrong. My husband said he is not relocating with me. I was shocked at first. 

I thought he was joking but as time passed, I realized he was serious. He said that he wasn’t ready to travel and that I can’t travel with his kids, He is not going to stay away from them for any reason whatsoever. I was furious. I am almost done processing the travel papers for our kids. I have been trying to have a civil conversation with him for a long time but he is not budging. He has made his decision clear and assures me that there’s no going back on it. I am very disappointed because not everyone gets this kind of opportunity. I know my colleagues in the Netherlands that have been trying to bring their family but it has been very challenging for them.

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This is an opportunity to give our kids a good life but he is trying to let it slip through our fingers. My children are very happy to relocate. They are all making plans in earnest and some have already told their friends about it. My husband is just trying to be unnecessarily difficult. Travelling will help our family a lot. It will change our story. Is not as if he will be completely jobless if we relocate. I have been making enquiries about jobs in his field and I have found a couple of them. Whether or not he gets a job there, I will still be able to take care of our family until my husband adjusts. I have broken this down for him so many times but he doesn’t get it.


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