I have been married for 12 years without a child. This September will make it exactly 12 years and it has been one hell of a ride. I have faced so many adversaries and mockery from people all because of my current situation. Everyday, I pray that things get better and that I may at least bear a child and prove to people that delay is not denial and that everything will happen when the time is right. I watch people whom I got married before bear children and it pains my heart.
I see young ladies marry and have two or three kids and even more but it is as if nothing changes on my own side. It has been a very terrible experience and I am tired of waiting.
My husband used to be a very understanding and supportive man. He has usually been there for me when the chips are down. Of a truth, he has never made me feel like it is my fault that things are the way they are currently. When I worry so much and cry my eyes out, he is always there for me and consoles me. He reassures me that things will get better and that we should keep the hope alive. Recently, I decided that I was tired of waiting and suggested to my husband that we should opt for an adoption. To my greatest surprise, he refused. He said that our time will still come And that there was no need for us to consider adoption.
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I understand that he wants to be optimistic but the truth is that we are not getting younger. It was even very difficult for me to come to this decision to opt for an adoption. However, I tried explaining to him that an adoption doesn’t mean we will stop trying for our own child or that we are giving up, it only means that we want to raise kids and have a happy home. I love children just like my husband; it has been a huge torture for us to stay all these years without coming home to kids. I know the kind of negativities and backlash I have received from people especially from women like me. It has not been easy and that is one of the reasons why I decided to go for an adoption.
My husband is adamant to all my suggestions and it is wearing me out. His family, especially his mother, has been on my neck for a very long time now. I know the kind of trouble she has been giving me. Although I know that she may not entirely be in support of this decision, I believe that it is left for my husband and myself to decide what we want to do. None of us has a child elsewhere. I do not have and I don’t think my husband has. We are getting old and if we keep waiting, no one will take care of us if we get old. If we adopt now, at least we can take care of the kids by ourselves for now, unlike if we decide to wait longer. I don’t know any other way to explain to my husband how important this adoption is and that is why I am writing to you to seek opinion on suitable options I can use to convince my husband.