I am married with no child. This is the third year of my marriage and the things I am seeing are beyond me. I have been a very easygoing person who has done nothing but be a supportive, industrious and helpful wife to her husband. I met my husband during our NYSC, we were both serving at the same state and camp and we were opportuned to come across each other. We started off as friends but as time went on, we got really close and things progressed into marriage. We got married two years after we met and sincerely speaking, my husband has never given me a reason to doubt him or his whereabouts. We got married in 2019 even though my parents and siblings were not fully in support of the marriage due to some matters raised. I was able to convince them after presenting before them a thousand and one reasons why he was the right man for me. They finally gave their consent, we had the wedding in a gentle way and since then we’ve been trying for kids but all to no avail. We have been to so many hospitals but there has been no favourable response. They keep saying we are both fine and we should keep trying. I was becoming frustrated.
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There was a day I was with my friend and I was lost in thought, I was at work when she asked me what the problem was. I was able to confide in her. I told her what the problem was and how my husband and I have been declared healthy from the various medical results. Sue said she knew a doctor who handles situations like this very well. She gave me his contact and encouraged me to call and book an appointment with him. I did. I called him and he asked me to come with my husband. We traveled to his hospital since it was in another location and after consultation, he sent my husband and I on a series of tests. They were also expensive and my husband felt I was being unnecessarily pushy and wasting money too since they were not going to find anything wrong with both of us. I didn’t give up, I was ready to find a solution to our problems because many people were beginning to tag me barren and also speak behind our backs. The rest of the results came out the following week when we went back and that was when we found out that my husband was impotent.
It was a devastating news. It was quite difficult for both of us to believe initially, we felt the results were wrong because he just wanted to show us he was different from other hospitals we have been to. As a result of our unbelief, he referred us to two more hospitals which he trusted and said we could redo the tests there and compare. We were no longer bothered about the funds, we did the tests again and the doctors said the same thing. As it is now, my husband is impotent. I don’t know what to do. I am just 29 with a whole life ahead of me. How do I begin to handle this situation? He is in a worse state than I am. We asked the various doctors we met and said nothing can be done about it. One of the doctors said he can be placed on supplements which may help. Currently there is no assured solution to our problem. All we have been getting are mere suggestions, nothing substantial. I now longer concentrate at work. I go to work late and also perform badly. It is beginning to affect almost every situation of my life.
My husband on the other hand has not been to work for over a week now although it is his private establishment and he has people working for him but his absence is still causing some problems in his place of work. I seriously don’t know what to do about this condition. All my life I have dreamt of being a mother. Holding my child, looking into her eyes and building a bond between us. I dreamt of giving my children all the love and support they can get. My husband and I have already opened an account for our kids. A great percentage of our monthly income for the past three years, since after our wedding has been going into that account. How are we going to bear this news. I am broken, I am sad and there doesn’t seem to be a solution to this situation. What can I do? I am in severe pain.