My husband is unappreciative.

I am a mother of three. Ever since I got married, I have been toiling to support my family. I have taken up different jobs just to make money and see that our kids are in school and that we have a place to rest our heads as well as food on our table everyday. However, as I go out to work and ensure that all our needs are met, my husband is undisturbed. He lies at home all day and goes out only when he deems it fit to do so. Whether or not we have food on our table is none of his business. He doesn’t care if our four children are in school or at home because we couldn’t pay their school fees. None of these bothers him.

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He lost his job two years ago and since then, I have been the one running the family and I do not speak about it to outsiders. I often get overburdened by the responsibilities I shoulder and the worst part of it all is that my so-called husband doesn’t care and he doesn’t appreciate all my efforts. Our kids have been in different schools because of our inability to pay their school fees at different times yet it doesn’t bother my husband. I have spoken to him so many times to get his shit together and behave like the man he is. I don’t spite him because of his situation but at least I expect some form of responsibility from him even if he can’t provide for us now.

It’s been two years since he lost his job and he has been idle since then. I talked him into getting a job so many times but he almost never listens. I do not disrespect him or look down on him because before his current predicament, he used to be a responsible and loving husband. He took care of us properly and showed me so much love. However, things have changed and we need to do better. He was falsely accused at his workplace and he gave a lot of things to see that the company grows. He was holding a reputable position as a senior staff of the company but his associates were jealous of him and set him up. 

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Things got wild and he was accused of embezzling so much money from the company. Every effort to vindicate himself failed and he was sacked. Since then, he has been almost useless. I have asked him to pull himself together, forgive those people and move on but he’s too invested in the past. I am tired of constantly speaking to him about this. The worst part is that I look worn out from carrying the family alone. I need help from him. I need his assistance. I need his support. He doesn’t even appreciate all these things I’m doing. He stays at home all day and I still come back to cook. On the days he goes out, he comes back late and I serve him food.