Please keep me anonymous. I am a newly married woman and sons of the things I have observed in this marriage are beginning to give me concerns and make me wonder how long I am going to out up with this kind of situation on the long run. I got married in February after dating my husband for barely eight months. When I met him, he was calm and calculated. He knew exactly what he wanted and I got to know that he is a very strong willed but nice and honest guy. There were things he didn’t subscribe to and it took time for anyone to advise him against it especially when he believes it’s the right thing to do .
Prior to meeting him, I have been in contact with a few guys. I have dated some guys who were extremely extroverted and very loud as well.
The last guy I dated before my husband was quite loud and all over the place. He was a people’s person and had a way of turning or switching things up in rooms or parties. It’s almost difficult for you not to notice his presence anywhere he was so when I met my husband, I met a different kind of person, away from what I was used to. I met a different kind of breed and because I have been to an extroverted guy, I realized I became extroverted as well. When I met my husband, I had a lot of unlearning and relearning to do. First, I stopped going to clubs and parties because my husband didn’t believe it was necessary. He preferred to stay at home to watch football, play games, drink or watch movies. He was an indoor guy and believed one could have fun at home.
Gradually, I started learning it and I began to find it fun. I loved the peace and quiteness that came with such lifestyle and it helped me bond with him better since we were mostly at home when we weren’t working. This is currently my eighth month in this marriage and I find it boring. I thought being an indoor person was a good thing but not anymore. My husband doesn’t believe in going out and it is making me very paranoid. Even when at home, he doesn’t engage me as much. He is so used to doing things alone and it is tiring. He can stay for long without talking to me. When I try to have conversations with him, He doesn’t talk much. I have tried to spice up our marriage but it is not working.
I told him about hanging out but he is against it. I told him that it’s in a cool spot, somewhere quiet and away from the noise but he doesn’t find it fun. The lady time we managed to hang out, it was extremely awkward because we didn’t talk much and we was so interested in going home. I didn’t notice all these while we were dating because we mostly spoke over the phone and whenever I visited, he was very happy to see me and we had a lot to talk about. Now, we are in each other’s faces and there’s almost no enthusiasm anymore. I feel bored and tired already. How do I manage this situation. He is a nice guy but I want to vibe and connect with him more than we do now.