I don’t really know what to do or who to go to right now. I am 26 weeks pregnant with our first child. We’ve been married for 4 years and I have never noticed any signs of him being sexist. When we planned to have a baby, we briefly discussed whether we would prefer a son or daughter, he repeated several times that he doesn’t mind as long as the baby is healthy, obviously I agreed.
I noticed that when we began to discuss names, he only brought up boy’s names. When I mentioned a girl’s name I liked he would just mention another boy’s name. I thought at the time that it was okay because perhaps he just thinks the baby is a boy and is preparing.
However, we recently found out the sex of the baby, where it was revealed we were having a girl. When the sonographer told us my husband lost all colour from his face and put his head in his hands, when I asked him what was wrong he just asked the sonographer if she was sure and said nothing else.
When we were in the car going home I mentioned how excited I was to have a girl because I’d grown up with brothers and always wanted a sister. My husband then said something along the lines of “I feel empty, this whole thing feels pointless now” which really hurt me and I just broke down and said nothing.
Later that night he lashed out when I asked him what I meant in the car, he told me that he never wanted girls and that it is awkward and disappointing to know he is having a daughter rather than a son.
A few days have passed and the atmosphere between us has been really tense, we haven’t spoke of the pregnancy much and I’m questioning whether he’s still the man I married.